Snipars is Love, Snipars is Life

>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Snipars so much, I had all the Mtn Dew and Doritos
>I pray to Snipars every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given
>"Snipars is love" I say; "Snipars is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a hardscoper
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Snipars
>I called him a cheeky ♥♥♥♥ m8
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I'm crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it's really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It's Snipars
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear "This is my montage."
>He grabs me with his powerful sniping hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Snipars
>He no-scopes my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Snipars
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water Mtn Dew
>I push against his intervention
>I want to please Snipars
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his Doritos
>My dad walks in
>Snipars looks him straight in the eyes and says "Oh baby a triple, oh yeah!"
>Snipars leaves through my window
>Snipars is love. Snipars is life.