We are the all favourd shrek master race!

suddenly I feel a warmth creeping up my back
>hear a voice in my ear
>"this is mah swamp"
>shrek has come to save me
>He immediately whips out his already-eshrekt green shrock
>uses his shrock to make a dreck shish kebab
>only farquaad remains, now whimpering like a little ♥♥♥♥♥ baby ♥♥♥♥♥
>"its all ogre now" he says
>♥♥♥♥♥ farquaad in the ass with the force of a thousand burning suns
>farquaad is burnt alive from the heat caused by the friction
>shrek finally turns to me
>I know what to do
>I get in my knees and spread my cheeks, ready to please my ogrelord
>he thrusts his shrock inside me all at once
>it hurts like hell, but I thrust in rhythm with shrek
>he roars a mighy ogre roar and fills me with his love
>"check yourself before you shrek yourself" he says, and flies away
>I get home that evening
>approach front door, grab door handle
>door handle turns into an onion
>waitwhat
>I try to enter the back door, that handle turns into an onion as well
>begin to wonder what is going on
>I pick up heavy rock in back yard
>rock crumbles into many onions
>then I realise, shrek has blessed me with a great power
>I wear gloves from that day forth, to hide my power from the world, lest the drecks learn of it and use it for their own evil end
>I await the coming of the shrekoning, and will fight proudly at my ogrelord's side
>shrek is love
>shrek is life