We protect the good samaritans of Salty Swamp

Seen a crime? Experinced a crime? Killed a man? Come to the S.S.P.D. (Salty Swamp Police Department).


Need a way to get away with a crime? Here at the S.S.P.D. you can take a full day crime class to learn about the best way to:
Cover your tracks,
Not to be spotted,
Kill someone,
Give Birth,
and SO much more! Only for an additional cost of $14,000 along side your contribution of $3.59.

Come in today! We are ready to assist you (with ANYTHING).
Phone: 1-555-555-5555

Chain of Command:
Owner- Chief of Police
Officers- Lieutenant
Moderators- Sergeant
All Other Members- Police Officer/Detective


Have a Jolly day!