1996-2013

Limbo doesn't smell nice. I'm not talking about the game, although when I play it my house does get a strange scent to it.
I'm talking about the space between this life and what could be the next. I smelled like, well, to be honest, nothing. I just thought that was a good intro, I think my english teacher would be damn proud.
Anyways, after Tech murdered me with his butter knife, I sat around in Limbo for a while. It wasn't until 5 minutes into it that. Then a strange figure approached me.
The figure, to my surprise, was Man of 1000lb. He told me how he was sent to Limbo to judge people as to where they go after death since the folks in the underworld decided he was pretty useless in real life, which wasn't too off.
Man led me through a strange bulding. Inside there were little elves moving around doing paper work. There were hundreds of printers, though some had signs on them that read "This printer is now known as Bob Marley, because it always be jammin'". There were also scattered piles of feces. All the ink for the printers left no money for the bills apparently.
Soon we reached a small office in which Man sat me down. He told me that I would need to answer questions. He handed me a piece of paper and a pencil. The paper read "The Test", so obviously the folks in Limbo aren't the most clever.
I read the first question. "Have you ever masturbated to anyone under the age of 18". That didn't make much sense as I was under 18. But I put down the answer anyways.
Yes.
There were a lot of other random questions.
Have you ever enganged in Illuminatic activities?
Have you ever used illicit drugs?
Have you ever considered suicide?
If I dropped a Dell laptop in the ocean, would it be Adele; Rolling in the Deep?
What did the first escalator say to the second?
I answered all of them to the best of my ability. I handed them to Man, and he had one of the elves look over it. Eventually the elf was done and whispered something to Man.
Man shook his head and looked at me.
"Myth, what did the first escalator say to the second?"
"Nothing, escalators can't talk!" I said.
Man shook his head again, "Myth, you're such a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dumbass, the answer is 'That escalated quickly'. smh, bro, smh...."
He pulled down a string that hung from the roof.
"Sorry Myth, you're going to hell.