ITS WORTH 10000000000000000000000 BUDS

The first time I masturbated, i was alone with a venus fly trap. So I said "I want this VENUS flytrap to be a PENIS flytrap!". So then I laughed at my own funny and witty pun for several minutes. After that I said to the venus flytrap "Hey buddy, you know whats about to happen?" so it said "I can't speak or think because i'm a plant", so i was like "Ya whatever thats cool", and i shoved my ♥♥♥♥ right down his throat and it started sucking on it. So i was like "OH YEAH YEAH, WAIT NO THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA, THIS IS SO PAINFULL, WHY DID I DO THIS?". And that is the story, of how my ♥♥♥♥ got bit off by a penis flytrap.