For Real Believers Only

On the planet Skelob in earth year 1986 the child skentor was born to Dark Lord Swwwwer-dit
and Doge. As the planet Skelob crumbled under the weight of the sezchuan sauce Invaders
known as daruguns Doge put skentor in an escape pod and sent him to a Faraway planet,
earth. When the pod arrived on Earth skentor was found by Richard and Jamie Patrick, who
adopted him and named him Matthew. Matthew would go on to become a great prophet and
shed light on the world's many problems. Ultimatley mat created a greater human race and as
token to his contributions the humans created Matskinti Day. Matskinti day is held on the third
day of every ninth month until Matskinti week when the months are reset. Matskinti week starts
on the 18th of January every 5 years. Legend says that on this week Mat, the pope, and Nes
from undertake combine to create Saint Matskinti. During matskinti week people are only
allowed to eat matpats favorite delicacy, pickles covered in shaving cream and horse semen.

"All Fakers and Haters will be thoroughly dabbed on!!!"