DO YOU LIVE IN CONSTANT MORTAL FEAR? ARE YOU OFTEN NERVOUS IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS? DO YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY AND FREE FROM THOUGHT?

As of today, we are the fastest growing religion in ZImbabwe.
Find our website here: http://www.epsilonprogram.com/
Join us in something special and become one of the children of Kraff.

Travel through the dawn to the pass pictured in our brochures. Look for a red truck with a dent on the right fender. Raise your left hand and recite the words: "Take me to to my father-father, brother-uncle. Kifflom." We'll do the rest. Because we all know, there is Kifflom and there is Krant, and both be praised.



1. The world is 157 years old - FACT!

2. Dinosaurs are a lie that people believe because they are weak - FACT!

3. You are happy, you just don’t know it - FACT!

4. We all come from the same tree - FACT!

5. Everyone is related to everyone else, except for people with red hair - FACT!

6. Sperm does not exist - it is a lie spread by biology teachers - along with everything else you have ever been told - FACT!

7. Men are supposed to lie with nine new partners a week. Women are supposed to lie with six, except for in July, when they must lie with five men a day - FACT!

8. Aliens exist and are present on earth. If you have a birth mark, you may be descended from Kraff, the famous Emperor of the 4th Paradigm - FACT!

9. Trees talk, but only some people hear them - FACT!

10. People who believe in something live much longer than atheists, and they have eternal life thrown in for good measure - FACT!

11. If you believe this and turn your hands and wallet over to EPSILONISM, you’ll live a happy life. Otherwise you are doomed - FACT!

12. KIFFLOM - HAPPINESS IS YOURS! KIFFLOM!

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