Schwamp and Carlotso's Audio Book

Are your map talks 5 minutes or less? Having trouble beating that pesky Steel scrim? Ashville getting you down? Have no fear, Schwamp and Carlotso are here to help you.

"We don't really want what we really desire."

Schwamp and Carlotso have spent endless nights having 7 hour discussions about Team Fortress. They have such considerable knowledge about the competitive scene, they are willing to pass on their expertise to you!

"Don't Act. Just Think!"

Inspired by great minds such as Slavoj Žižek, Schwamp and Carlotso promise to help you understand every map, every tactic, every class, every personality and strategy you should employ.

"Things cannot go the way they are."

Hear it all in the audio book coming soon to youtube! How to win lobbies more! How to make the best out of all your uber fights! How to be the most useful Demoknight possible! Coming soon!

"Why be happy when you could be interesting?"

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