The Mighty Church of Bezos

The time is neigh, brethren. Soon we must put aside our differences and take up arms against the vile evils of this new world. We must band together and show no fear in the face of our enemies, for the almighty Jeff graces us and our crusade across the lands. Let us strike down with the gracious power of our lord and rid the world of those who turn against him. Together we will rejoice as we lay the lands with their blood, and soon find peace in holy prayer.
We are now accepting all those who find themselves looking for a place to call home, and wish to accept our glorious and benevolent Jeff into their hearts. Let us together spread his word and band together to create a world in his image.
May he deliver us from sin, in prime next day.

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