“I’ve not come back here looking for a fight. -- Really? That’s a pity. One’s certainly looking for you.”

The Steam version is technically two games in one, American McGee's Alice and Alice: Madness Returns. It's possible to enable the first game via community patches, so I will review both games.

Do not play American McGee's Alice. It's an archaic platformer with clunky controls, even after patching it. One could argue it simply aged poorly, but by its release date, we had great platformers that still hold up today, like Super Mario 64, Banjo-Kazooie, Spyro the Dragon, etc. It's no excuse, it shouldn't be this much of a boring slog. Can't lie, the atmosphere and soundtrack are nice, the game has soul, there was an idea here. But apart from Alice's story, the dialogue and the aesthetic, it's a nothing burger. By far one of the worst platformers I have ever played!

To show how polarizing the original game and Alice: Madness Returns are, the latter became my favorite platformer of all time! It looks stunning, almost like a dream. The combat gameplay feels like Devil May Cry, that's how great it is! Maybe less polished, but it works perfectly, since it's mainly a 3D platformer with jumping puzzles. I wasn't expecting disturbing visuals, at least for something based on Alice in Wonderland, especially in Chapter 5. The maps are very detailed with a lot to see!

In a game like this, it's a huge feat when you can't point out a specific part that's annoying to repeat in future playthroughs, and this is the case during normal gameplay. But it's not a perfect game: the gimmicky mini-games were a nuisance. The 2D platforming was alright and the side scroller shooter part was mediocre, but the sliding puzzles are terrible enough by themselves, and there's a 30 second timer on top of that. The hilarious part is that those can be totally skipped simply by pressing "Skip" at the failed screen, as if the game itself knew they're annoying. I love this game even more due to that!

It's so sad to know that there will never be a new Alice game, at least supervised by American McGee, since EA are unwilling to sell or license the IP. The original team tried their hardest to convince the vile piece of excrement that is this company, but they wouldn't budge, so any plans for Alice were cancelled. Fortunately, Alice: Madness Returns exists, and it's a beautiful cult classic masterpiece!

It reeks of edgy 2011 goth, and honestly, its the best part about it.

kept crashing