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South Yorkshire, United Kingdom (Great Britain)
Vernon Douglas is my name
My battery arrest is what brought me fame
But there's much more to know about me
I love to dance and I love to ski
I zip and zoom on through the snow
Just strap on my boots and watch me go
But I can't ski until December
Till then, I'm just a sex offender
[Verse 3: Charles Dolling]
I'm Charles Dolling, dropping rhymes
I've been arrested seven times
I know that sounds like a lot
But three of those times were for vandalism
I feel real bad, I got caught
I might do it again, probably not
I'm not here to make pretences
I'm here because of my sex offences
[Verse 4: Sam Pound]
I'm Sam Pound, I'm number one
Apologising for what I've done
Case you’re wondering what that was
I snuck into a bathroom and fisted my Cuz
I held her down and watched her struggle
Then played with her melons because I like to juggle
I’m not here to eat eats those truffles
I'm just here to do the "Sex Offender Shuffle"
"The State of Florida has asked us to
Disclose our sexual crimes to you
We were bad, but now we're good
We're moving into your neighbourhood
You know we're trying our best to be
Functioning members of society
We're not here to start trouble
We're legally required to do the "Sex Offender Shuffle"
[Verse 1: Larry Arthauer]
I'm Larry Arthauer and I'll refrain
From touching my neighbor's kid's again
What I did was not too kind
But I'm a nice guy, you'll come to find
I've got a backyard and a real nice pool
Y'all should come over for a BBQ
We could make some cold drinks in my blender
But do keep in mind that I'm a sex offender