Hey Steam, I'm a Wario.

No I'm not a Mario. No I won't give you a Super Mushroom. No I'm not ugly.No I do not go out with human gamers, because they are always ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and gross. Yes my girlfriend does run a pizzeria, so what? No I won't lend you any gold coins, so don't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ask.

And finally.

Yes, I do ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ exist, so stop saying otherwise. And I enjoy games (SHOCK HORROR) just as much as Humans.

Also Merry Christmas and buy my games I'm so poor...