I`ve reached the "peak" described by "Nietzsche" but I don`t feel sadness. Only nausea and suffers.

I`m not crying about my life, I don`t feel myself like an empty place in the world, neither hate myself or really want to die, but sometimes I think about it. My existence is a silent weapon.

But I want you to hear how bad life is.

I feel like I am trapped among all the people around me, I feel like all of them are weird, all of them are dumb, incompetent and inattentive.

When I talk to people, I do not understand what emotions they feel, and what should I say.

I had so much friends and partners, but they never loved me and I felt betrayed.

I just don`t get what all these people around me want.

Am I too old? Am I too young? Am I too sad? Am I too happy?

After all, even when I was thinking: "Hey, my life isn`t that bad like I thought" It was just my naive feeling of myself. My life is gray, and I never get out from my house.

I’ve just run out of hope for anything. I’ve tried and strived so many times, but it’s all in vain all the hard work I spent so damn long on means nothing to anyone it gets no recognition beyond a "Boo" or a "Yay!" And then everyone tells me "You didn't even try" BUT THAT`S NOT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TRUE I DID TRY, but there`s nothing to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ prove already, no one does listen to me, because everyone is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ leader in their own head. God, you bastards have all ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ worn me down. That’s why I’m resigning myself to eternally waiting for a utopia inside the closed-off world of my own stupid head.

Maybe, one day I`ll find a really good person... Just like Fed was.