sup bro, lets play together, send me a friend request pls

hello mate, can you send me friend request? I have something for you

hello mate, can you send me friend request? I have something for you

sup bro, lets play together, send me a friend request pls

hi, can you send me friend request? i cant add you, idk why

I’m Harambe, and this is my zoo enclosure. I work here with my zoo keeper and my friend, Cecil the lion. Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I’ve learned after 21 years – you never know WHO is gonna come over that fence.

So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Steam... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..."

Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?
About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.
I didn't notice much difference in flavour when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse. Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbour's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbour's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to encorporate it into my cooking again in secret.
I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.

PCs are for sad geeks who have no life.
Game consoles are for those who want to entertain themselves.
I once tried using a PC - it was an absolute nightmare! (those who create these various versions don't exactly make them for the novice; they wrongly assume EVERYONE is a Geek) And using it was WORSE!!! Besides, I've ALWAYS used XBox, and it's too late to teach this old dog new tricks. And when PCs become as easy to use as XBox, games are as easy to load into PC as it is for XBox, and there's Halo 2 ported to PC (or better still, XBox games are compatible with PC), THEN I'll use it And You PC-ers DARE to accuse Bill Gates of being the 'Antichrist'?! At least he makes his game consoles EASY to buy & use!!!
So, until then, I say:
GET THEE BEHIND ME, PC-SATAN!!!

IM NOT A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ WEABOO YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HATERS I JUST ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ LIKE ANIME OK???!!!! STOP THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SPAM IM NOT PRETENDING TO BE BORN IN JAPAN I JUST FEEL LIKE JAPAN IS MY HOME BECAUSE AMERICA SUCKS (BTW PLEASE VOTE BERNIE OR ILL LEAVE THIS PLACE) SO REALLY SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL YOU GUYS ONCE AND FOR ALL ITS NOT FUNNY TO ACCUSE ME OF BEING A WEABOO OR SOMETHING BECAUSE ITS JUST FALSE!!! IM AMERICAN AND NOT JAPANESE!!!! ALL I WANT IS TO LIVE THERE NOT BE JAPANESE OK I DONT GET WHATS WRONG WITH YOU if you wanna chat (girls only) add me on WarriorzNaruto303 on skype thx

+rep, jewish

Eddie's Nova Ace, pls respond

scrub

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

I sexually Identify as a meme. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being uploaded onto the imgur website and linked into the reddit threads. People say to me that a person being a meme is Impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a computer scientist put my brain into my computer like johnny depp in transendence, equipping me with the dankest of pictures from the internet. From now on I want you guys to call me "Sir Danks-a-lot" and respect my right to meme from above and meme needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a memephobe and need to check your internet privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

hi I 15 year old somalian rhinoceros i need surgery for gud horn pls send money to my owner nigerian prince

░░░░░░░█▐▓▓░████▄▄▄█▀▄▓▓▓▌█
░░░░░▄█▌▀▄▓▓▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▓▓▓▓▓▌█
░░░▄█▀▀▄▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▀░▓▌█
░░█▀▄▓▓▓███▓▓▓███▓▓▓▄░░▄▓▐█▌
░█▌▓▓▓▀▀▓▓▓▓███▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▄▀▓▓▐█
▐█▐██▐░▄▓▓▓▓▓▀▄░▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌█▌
█▌███▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▐░░▄▓▓███▓▓▓▄▀▐█
█▐█▓▀░░▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██████▓▓▓▓▐█
▌▓▄▌▀░▀░▐▀█▄▓▓██████████▓▓▓▌█▌
▌▓▓▓▄▄▀▀▓▓▓▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓█▓█▓▓▌█▌
█▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▄▄▄▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓█▓█▓█▓▓▓▐█

its ok :P

gee thanks pat.

…………………...„„-~^^~„-„„_
………………„-^*'' : : „'' : : : : *-„
…………..„-* : : :„„--/ : : : : : : : '\
…………./ : : „-* . .| : : : : : : : : '|
……….../ : „-* . . . | : : : : : : : : |
………...\„-* . . . . .| : : : : : : : :'|
……….../ . . . . . . '| : : : : : : : :|
……..../ . . . . . . . .'\ : : : : : : : |
……../ . . . . . . . . . .\ : : : : : : :|
……./ . . . . . . . . . . . '\ : : : : : /
….../ . . . . . . . . . . . . . *-„„„„-*'
….'/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
…/ . . . . . . . ./ . . . . . . .|
../ . . . . . . . .'/ . . . . . . .'|
./ . . . . . . . . / . . . . . . .'|
'/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'|
'| . . . . . \ . . . . . . . . . .|
'| . . . . . . \„_^- „ . . . . .'|
'| . . . . . . . . .'\ .\ ./ '/ . |
| .\ . . . . . . . . . \ .'' / . '|
| . . . . . . . . . . / .'/ . . .|
| . . . . . . .| . . / ./ ./ . .|

░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▐
░░░░░░▄▄▄░░▄██▄
░░░░ ▐ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° '▌░░░▀█▄
░░░░░▌ ▌░░░░░▀█▄
░░░░░░▀▄▀░░░▄▄▄▄▄▀▀
░░░░▄▄▄██▀▀▀▀
░░░█▀▄▄▄█░▀▀
░░░▌░▄▄▄▐▌▀▀▀
▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN BANGED BY THE
▀█▌░░░▄░▀█▀░▀
░░░░░░░▄▄▐▌▄▄
░░░░░░░▀███▀███▀██▀██▀▀██▀▀██▀▀██▀▀██▀▀██▀██▀ ░▄
░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY BOOTY BANGER
░░░░░░▐▀░░░░░░▐▌
░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░█
░░░░░▐▌░░░░░░░░░█

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
ＤＡＭＮ ＴＨＩＳ ＣＯＭＭＥＮＴ ＩＳ ＦＡＮＣY.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
ＤＡＭＮ ＴＨＩＳ ＣＯＭＭＥＮＴ ＩＳ ＦＡＮＣY.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

u suck the chin

ur a nob