are you dead or did you finally figure out how to go outside?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sk4QhMsTlRA INTERNAL MONOLOGUE

BOO!! Sorry did I scare you?! WASSUP GURL😉😉😊 ITS COCKTOBER 😈🌚🍂🍃🍁 AND IF YOU👈🏽 ARE GETTING THIS👇🏽😘 IT MEANS UR A HALLOWEEN 👻🎃 HOE😏😩👅💦 every year in Cocktober the jack o slut🎃 comes to life🙀😻🙌🏽👏👏🙌🏽 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ to harvest 🍁🍂🍃 his hoes for THOT-O-WEEN😏😏💥💥🎈🎂🎉 send this to 10 other Halloween Hoes or else you a TRICK🎃👻👻 🎃 IF YOU GET 4 BACK UR A THOT-O-WEEN TREAT😋 IF YOU GET 6 BACK UR A SLUTTY WITCH ♥♥♥♥♥👄😍✨🔮 BUT IF YOU GET 10 BACK UR THE SPOOKIEST SLUT ON THE BLOCK😜💦⚰🎉🎉💯🎃 If you don’t send this to 10 other thots💁😩👄 you will get NO ♥♥♥♥ 👋 this COCKTOBER🎃😉😜

not even trolling u need a boywife

not even rolling u need a boywife

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets*

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OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZ HAIII! WATASHI WA ENUM-SAN! ^___^ I absolutely luuuv @__@ anime :heart: and my fav is naurto!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband JOSE-CHAN!!!!!! :heart:33333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!!

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In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. All the praises and thanks be to Allah, the Lord of the world. (mankind, jinns and all that exists).
The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Master of the Day of Judgement.
You (Alone) we worship, and you (Alone) we ask for help (for each and everything).
Guide us to the Straight Way
The Way of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace, not (the way) of those who earned Your Anger, nor of those who went astray.

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you :wink: sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

blows mad

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Bananya is a mysterious cat who hides inside a banana. Bananya lives undercover inside a real banana, and no-one has ever seen the part covered by banana skin...

When nobody is around, Bananya secretly plays and creates mischief. Bananya likes to play and eat sweet things. Bananya's dream is to become a stylish chocolate banana.

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　|　Windows　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 [－][口][×]|
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　|　Windows has detected you're really crap at csgo |
　| 　Are you?　　　　　　 |
　|　　　　＿＿＿＿＿＿　　　　＿＿＿＿＿＿　　　　＿＿＿＿＿　　　|
　| 　　　｜Yes　　　　 |　　　｜Maybe　　｜ 　 　 |Yes 　 　 |　 　　|
　|　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣　　　　￣￣￣￣￣　　　|
　　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

We trust you have recieved the usual lecture from the local System Administrator. It usually boils down to these three things:
#1) Respect the privacy of others.
#2) Think before you type.
#3) With great power comes great responsibility.

A magician stood in front of a crowd. "For this last trick I will make myself appear in 100 different places around this very room" said the magician. The crowd watched in disbelief. "3...2...1...abracadabra". Yet the magician was still there. "Hmm let me try that again 3...2...1...abracadabra". Nothing. The magician starts to panic and checks his handbook for the instructions. "Ah ha!" says the magician. "I wasn't saying the correct magic word". He stands in front of the crowd again and says "3...2...1...ALLAHU AKBAR". Then with a sudden explosion he magically appeared in 100 different places in the room.
Needless to say the crowd was blown away.

This is why Doomguy is the greatest video game character ever:
Basically DOOM 1 was "Oh ♥♥♥♥ we're invaded" then everyone dies except you. Since you can't fly the shuttle back to Earth to save yourself, you decide to try to clear out the base.
You kinda do, except you get ambushed and die. Because the base on Deimos is actually a part of hell now, that's where you "respawn" in hell.
You clear out THAT base and its new commander and actually go to the outer levels of old school hell. Again, you clear THAT ♥♥♥♥ out, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, and kill the guy leading the invasion on mars. The guy leading Hell basically gives you a teleporter to earth so that you'll stop messing ♥♥♥♥ up. That's right, HELL BROUGHT YOU BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE YOU KICKED ITS ASS.

In Doom 2, you teleport to earth and OH ♥♥♥♥ DEMONS ARE HERE TOO! Apparently you meet the last few survivors and get them onto a space ship so they can get the ♥♥♥♥ out of dodge. The problem is, the base where the launch button is overrun by demons.
You clear THOSE demons out, launch the ship and save humanity. You're such a stone cold badass holy balls. But you're tired as ♥♥♥♥, and you should be you magnificent bastard you, you decide to lie down and rest. Then some douche commander says "So yeah, thanks and all. Oh yeah, we found out where they're coming from. It's your hometown." So you get the ♥♥♥♥ back up.

THEN you fight your way to your hometown and find where the demons are coming from. Do you go through the portal? ♥♥♥♥ yeah you do, there are still demons to kill ♥♥♥♥♥.
You fight your way through the SERIOUS part of hell, then kill SATAN.
And that is why the Doomguy is the single most powerful human in the history of all games everywhere. Even ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ jrpg ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ need a group of 3 people and some faggoty power of "love or friendship" to kill God. Doomguy does it without magic or friends and kills Satan and the unspeakable horrors he wills into existence at the time. AND HE DOES THIS BY HIMSELF JESUS CHRIST.

I sexually Identify as a Hit Disney Chanel Original Movie. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of having a beautiful, whitewashed cast with one black guy and one Asian. People say to me that being both a Disney Channel Original Movie and a "hit" is Impossible and I'm stupid but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install crappy writing and the same four chords on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me DCOM and respect my right to make the same movie over and over again. If you can't accept me you're a disneyphobe and need to check your cinimatic privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

If my phone isn't getting any service, will putting shoes and a shirt on it help?

If your penguin appears to be waddling around Club Penguin in slow motion, there's a few things you can try to speed things up:
Make sure you're not running other programs while you're on Club Penguin. If you were visiting another website, make sure you exit out of it. Don't try to play Club Penguin while you're downloading music or video content from another site. This will slow things way down!
Sometimes things run slowly when the server is very busy. For example, Friday afternoon is a popular time to log in to Club Penguin. You might find that the game runs slowly then. Log in again, and try clicking on a server that isn't quite as full.
If you have more than four penguins saved on your log-in screen, this might make the game run slowly. Remove the penguins from your saved list. You can still login by typing in your penguin name each time.
You might also have a slow internet connection. Read Why is my connection slow? to find out more about this issue.

If your penguin appears to be waddling around Club Penguin in slow motion, there's a few things you can try to speed things up:
Make sure you're not running other programs while you're on Club Penguin. If you were visiting another website, make sure you exit out of it. Don't try to play Club Penguin while you're downloading music or video content from another site. This will slow things way down!
Sometimes things run slowly when the server is very busy. For example, Friday afternoon is a popular time to log in to Club Penguin. You might find that the game runs slowly then. Log in again, and try clicking on a server that isn't quite as full.
If you have more than four penguins saved on your log-in screen, this might make the game run slowly. Remove the penguins from your saved list. You can still login by typing in your penguin name each time.
You might also have a slow internet connection. Read Why is my connection slow? to find out more about this issue.

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It's BAD to like anime!
Post this on the wall of a huge weeaboo

http://v1.steam.hlxgame.cc/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=574431217
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