Recent reviews by Timepants

One of the better clickers out there.

Better than a new DOOM has any right to be.

One... more... run... Oh my whole crew just suffocated while getting assaulted by mantis invaders. One... more... run... My shields got knocked down and the enemy proceeded to laser beam my ship to death. One... more... run... I accidentally left my entire boarding crew on the enemy ship while it blew up. One... more... run...

Almost makes programming in assembly language fun.

I grabbed a piece of Stonehenge with my tongue and went rampaging through the penis shaped food protesters. I wrecked all but one protester before my rock stuck floating in mid air above his face. Leaving the lonely protester and floating rock behind, I happened upon a softball shooter during my journey. With this infinite softball spawner strapped to my back, I went on a softball rampage, blowing up cars and pelting innocent bystanders into space. During this time I wound up back at the hanging rock above the protester. A stray softball happened to hit the hanging rock, and it promptly smashed into the protester's face. This game has enabled (almost) literal brick jokes. Truly, an elevation of the art form.

I really wanted to like this game. Unfortunately, the game keeps sabotaging itself. The concept of roguelike meets Legend of Zelda dungeons sounds fantastic. There are also tons of items and unlockable characters. The soundtrack is good as well.

It's just a shame that the controls are garbage. This game is controlled like a twin stick shooter, except you can only move in 8 directions and shoot in 4 directions. That by itself is annoying, but the real kicker is that your enemies do not face the same restrictions. They can move and shoot with complete freedom, while you are stuck trying to awkwardly angle your shots at them. The developers even said that they tried giving the player more freedom of control, but it made the game too easy. Crippling the player's controls in order to make the fairly basic enemies more difficult is bad game design.

Another disappointment was the game's framerate issues on my computer, which I know can play much more demanding games than this. One last thing to mention is this game's sad attempts at humor. The tone feels like it was set by a 12 year old boy that desperately wants to be "edgy" or something. Unless you still find poop to be hilarious, the game doesn't have much else to offer in that department.

This game is pretty great. The developers managed to do better characterization without any real dialogue than most games can manage with hundreds of lines of dialogue. The visuals and music are excellent as well, and they give the game a very distinct atmosphere.

My only real complaint is that this is a barebones console port. The beatiful graphics would be well served by options to increase the graphics quality, but unfortunately there are only resolution and v-sync settings. Also, although this game does not actually *require* a controller, you don't want to play this with a mouse and keyboard anyway. In the end this game is absolutely still worth your time.

Yeah, it's Terraria in space. They have lots of nice tweaks to how these sort of games play though. For instance, right from the start you have the ability to mine multiple blocks at once. Also, if you stop mining a block partway through it, the block will stay cracked for a bit, instead of going back to normal instantly like in Minecraft. The worlds are huge, each one is fairly unique, and there are tons of worlds to explore. You should probably buy this game.

If you like ridiculousness, WarioWare, or have a short attention span, then you should play this game!

Please don't buy this. This thing is completely non-interactive, You listen to a boring guy complain about his banal worries for 20 minutes and that's it. The characters mentioned in the description are too shallow to make this kind of thing even remotely interesting.