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We have booked your flights and booked you into a 5 Onion hotel, the tournament is happening on the 12th of December but we will be arriving at the special location on the 5th. There will be a sexy ladies awaiting your arrival with a stretch limousine designed and modified specifically around your sexual desires and needs. These ladies don't just peel onions if you know what I mean.
Also wanted to mention how great it was to see you lead the YounGinz to their first victory title last month. The way you 50 bombed while playing with literally only your penis and balls was amazing, I have never seen cockfrags on that level before. I heard you saved a swarm of old ladies from being hit by a bus, while clutching the 1v5 in OT with 1 health, 5 Bullets in your Deagle and dream. Thank you for your service.
You have passed the Onion E-Sports Exam's with flying colours.
We examined your recent OCE-L matches and believe you are the perfect 5th man for our Onion Team. The sheer aggression that exudes from this man is insane. We call ourselves Onion E-Sports Academy yet they are the true onions when this dude is on the server. He's chopping, slicing, dicing and potentially even grilling them. Sometimes he likes to drizzle a bit of marinate if he's feeling a bit spicy. I am very glad when I am in the server and realise I have prox on my team, I can always rely on him for great peels, this is why he's a true onion warrior.
When we are on the chopping block I know exactly who I want representing my team, and the only tears I've ever seen in the server are from the teams we VS.
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