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It's BAD to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a HUGE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ QUEER and tell them how DISGUSTING they are
He hates being the NOAH but that's all he's got and he has to keep playing the character to maintain a living. His TUMBLR, the one chance of him following his dream of being a real BLOG maker, was a completely embarrassing disaster. He has a broken MAC, his ♥♥♥♥♥ DOG walks all over him and the fact he's BEING FAT him is all but confirmed. He's GAY.
I think he'd kill himself if not for the VIDEOGAMES, but with his TUMBLRs reputation I doubt it's even his in the first place. I'd just tell him I'm sorry and put a bullet in the back of his head.