Recent reviews by Startled Sloth

Darkest Dungeon is an incredible fusion of fantasy roguelike tactics, lovecraftian horror aesthetics, and team management systems that combine to create something deeply addicting and replayable.

Darkest Dungeon II is a game where you get to watch horses ram themselves into burning piles of wood for 3 hours so you can collect moldy dishware that can be fed to your heroes to give them +3 hit points right before you fight a boss that hits your entire party for 30 damage four times in a row.

Don't worry though, because when they all die, you can collect 11 casino tokens that you can put into a slot machine that spits out a random black scribble called something like "Entropic Dissolution of Mankind's Body and Soul," which will provide +5% bonus critical strike chance at the cost of -75% Max HP and instantly contracting infected hemorrhoids.

Do not spend $40 on this game.

If you've ever wanted to combine DayZ, Helldivers 2, and Lethal Company into one package, boy do I have a game for you.

As a longtime fan of Civ V, forcing myself to get into Civ VI felt like trying to feed a child vegetables. However, once I got over my initial hurdles, I came to really appreciate the "jigsaw puzzle" approach that Civ VI brings to city development and economic progression. There's a lot more strategic planning and forward thinking required to succeed when compared to other entries in the Civ series, and the game does a good job of making you feel smart when it all clicks together.

That's not to say the game is without flaws, however. The barebones tech tree and uneven progression towards the late game both stick out to me, as they feel much worse than previous games and throw off the pacing completely once you hit the post-Industrial eras. I'm also not a huge fan of the way the loyalty system is currently implemented, as it encourages a very defensive playstyle, providing numerous benefits for turtleing/clustering cities together, and actively discourages widespread colonization on foreign continents. The UI is also pretty bad in some places, though thankfully most of these issues can be fixed with mods (though they shouldn't have to). Other new features like city governors, world council issues, and climate change feel half-baked, but they're not distractingly bad.

Overall, I'd say Civ VI feels a lot like drinking your first beer after a lifetime of soda. It probably won't appeal to you at first, but after a while, you start to appreciate its unique qualities and ability to destroy all your free time.

The single best interpretation of D&D 5th Edition in a video game. This is the kind of experience that every dungeon master strives to give our players.

Much like the real world, your expected workload increases the longer you stay with the job, until it reaches the point at which there is no possible way that you can fulfill the expectations of your bosses, you are fired, and you get to start the whole process over again elsewhere.

At least in the video game I get to keep 100% of my earnings, assuming some moron doesn't ring the doorbell one too many times.

A concept so simple and effortlessly fun that I'm amazed Riot Games hasn't made its own cheap knockoff yet. I guess we'll have to wait until it becomes a Dota 2 mod first.

Risk of Rain 2 is like a siren’s song. It lures you in with interesting characters, flashy combat, and a vague yet intriguing story about a planet covered in crashed spaceships. Then you look at the top right corner of the screen, see that you’ve been playing your current run for over 65 minutes, and realize you’ve completely torpedo’d your productivity for the day.

It is absolutely incredible just how hypnotic this game can be. Everything about it feels so “immediate,” like the developers have injected instant gratification into every aspect of its gameplay. Enemies dramatically explode or flip over when you kill them, loot chests have a punchy *THUD* sound when you open them, activating the teleporter for the next stage feels like you’ve just hit the launch button on a nuclear missile. The constant feedback of your actions make Risk of Rain 2 feel amazing to play, and the music just elevates this experience to godlike levels.

If you’re going to get this game, there are a few things you should know. First off, the game was designed around co-op, but (in my humble opinion) it doesn’t do a great job of balancing for that fact. Gold and XP from kills is shared, but items are not, and items are what truly give your character power. On every map, there are a limited number of loot chests containing random items that can potentially provide huge boosts to your character. However, once a chest is opened, nobody else can use it again. This often leads to massive power imbalances in which one or two players amass a huge inventory of items, leaving the rest of the team firing peashooters in later levels.

Another (potentially controversial) issue I have with the game is the fact that once you die in co-op, you need to wait until the end of the level to revive. I understand the thought behind this, as the whole point of Risk of Rain 2 is that you will eventually lose, but this just creates even larger power gaps between players as the game goes on. You cannot pick up items while dead (obviously), and items cannot be dropped either, making this a snowball effect that just ends up feeling bad. Especially when those more powerful players continue to steamroll everything in sight, dragging the rest of you along for the ride.

Overall though, Risk of Rain 2 is a remarkably well-crafted experience. It offers a huge amount of replayability, combined with an unorthodox progression system and lots of little secrets that make the whole world feel very unexplored. If you’re a fan of roguelikes, co-op games, or experiences that will suck away all of your free time, Risk of Rain 2 is an excellent choice.

It's the most innovative shooter i've played in years!

Devil Daggers is a game where you throw daggers at devils. The only tangible goal is to survive for at least 500 seconds, whereupon you'll be given the game's only achievement.

Only 0.2% of people who own the game have this achievement.

Devil Daggers.

For the (sale) price of a Big Mac combo at McDonalds, you can have endless hours of fun with your friends while also learning their deepest, most suppressed psychological urges.

Do they choose the boring objects like wooden beams and crates because they want others to have fun? Do they only pick traps and hazards because they like watching their closest friends suffer? Are they complete psychopaths that block the exit, making it impossible for anyone to actually win the game?

Or are they cowards that choose the bomb because the level is “way too hard right now?”

You know who you are.