Recent reviews by claïrvoyant

CS2 is CS without the little CS happiness that we used to collect.
You can't surf. Cyberathlete Amateur League is long gone, along with IRC, our parapet, our barrier to community. Hop into a CS match today, and you can't hop. Because your bunnies are dead. But you get used to the decay. The only thing a human being cannot get used to is stubbing a toe on the bed frame.

Picture this: it's Spring of 2008. Friday. 3:14pm. You just got home from school. On the way home, Mom knows you're hungry and stopped for you to pick up a personal pepperoni pan pizza from Pizza Hut drive thru. No homework this weekend (well, a little algebra perhaps. but you're gonna copy that off the mild mannered stinky kid come Monday morning before first period).

You quickly slam that delicious little pizza down your gullet while watching a rerun of the Mythbusters exploding water heater episode. But you're hardly paying attention to the TV, since you've seen that episode before.
The pizza is slightly oversauced, so as you grab a piece, you squeeze the crust a lil and smear a bit of the sauce off the edge of the slice and onto the thin cardboard box. You see the pizza box has a checkmark under Pepperoni. You know it is right- the worker checked it off with Sharpie. You have achieved a perfect balance in your bite.

But soon the pizza is gone, and you are faced with the most difficult of choices... Do I wack one back or do I load up mIRC, send some messages in #sourceringer first? Maybe i'll get picked up to scrim. Maybe they won't have sv_cheats tucked into their lo3 script (Gosh i sure do hope i make cal-im next season)

Fast forward: Now it is 2025, and whatever happened to those markers that smell like fruits? The scholastic book fair had plenty for sale. Where are they now? Where am I now? The weight of existence smothers you some more.

And suddenly you remember-- no one ever prank calls each other anymore... And winning in CS doesn't feel quite the same

G

THE BEST

*Update 2025:
Still the best but like where do i get mp3 files anymore lol