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1. Recite the 18th Century iteration of the Great British national anthem, paying particular credence to the second verse; namely "...may he sedition hush and like a torrent rush, rebellious Scots to crush...".
2. Prepare a fresh cup of English brew.
3. Proclaim profusely that this user is using the Queen's English with license, and should therefore act accordingly.
4. State the noble truths:
i. Scotland is a dominion of England; this is true since the dawn of the ages; until the end of time itself.
ii. Irn Bru is a peasants drink and is of equal importance to rusty sewer water.
5. Upon the immediate approach of this user, one should be carrying a sword; preferably Excalibur. The only actions that are royally sanctioned be the swinging of the blade towards thine ginger neck.
A NON-SCOTCH FUTURE
good spycraber