Oh, how very big of you. You're an alpha male, are you? Well, let me clue you in on something: Alpha Males haven't been in charge for a good couple of decades. Obviously, this tirade is directed on a High School level. Once you get out of high school, and begin working at your dead-end office job, you know who your boss is going to be? That's right, that pasty nerd you made fun of. It's funny, you see. The majority of the women you are talking about, despite the blatant lies you've slipped in, and the generalizations which remain moderately untrue, are frankly, idiotic sluts. The fact that you're trying to taunt us with them is inane, because while they sound appealing in text, in reality, we wouldn't want anything to do with the ****ing skanks. And furthermore, thank you for "****ing every girl in the school (I bet you can bench 2000 pounds too, amirite?)."

Uhhh. Yeah I'd ban you in a heartbeat. Maybe, by some cosmic anomaly these shots are legit and you just guessed the exact moment someone would peek, but literally humans can't react as quickly as you did with the corner shots. I'm SMFC as well. I've played counter-strike for about 9 years. I've never seen ANYBODY do anything like the reaction shots you had. In a decade of counter-strike, no pro can play like that. First round even, even when expecting them after the flashes/decoy, that first frag was out of this world. You have no idea how to position yourself or play an advantage. That's why you die, despite cheating. You just cheat to win. Not even remotely "suspicious". This is blatant. I bet you don't even understand why.

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"bean boy bean boy im a little bean boy!” echoed through the kitchen as Tim burst out of the pantry wearing a colander helmet.

His mom stared. The dog clapped somehow.

“I was destined for this,” Tim declared, striking a heroic pose atop a sack of lentils. “Protector of legumes. Prince of Pinto.”

He slipped on a rogue chickpea, crashed into the cupboard, and emerged covered in refried beans.

The prophecy was fulfilled.
The kitchen was not.

♥♥♥♥ his pants in 8th grade on a field trip. sat right above the bus heater the whole time

cool guy