hello mate, can you send me friend request? I have something for you

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
Ever since i was a boy i dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners.
people say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and im ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but i don't care, im beautifull.
I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body.
From now on i want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly.
If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege.
Thank you for being so understanding.

……………………\.......\.
……………………|--......\.
……………………/..........\.
…………………../...........\.
…………………,/-,.---.,……\.
……………….(,-~,-~-,\....’\.
……………….|..O.\.O…./.....\.
………………..\,,,-^-,,'-.......\.
……………..--/,,,___,,--‘¯.....\.
……………..-|.......................’\. KRABBY PATTY
………..,-‘’’./.........................’’,.
…….,-‘’’.../.............................\.
…..,-‘..../....................\...........\.
…/......./.......................\.........\.
…|......|....o....................\........|
…\_,-¯/-__.............,----‘’’\\....../
……….\¯’’’’-----‘’’’’’¯¯’’’’¯…./..\,,/.
………..\…………....’-,,-‘........\...../

nice

gnome, I seek your wisdom.
I'm in anime club at my college (I'll avoid saying which to avoid someone finding out who this is), and it was a weekly meeting as to what we wanted to watch on Thursday, our next club meeting. Being the otaku that I am, I suggest that we watch The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi. The whole club doesn't know what I'm talking about and goes on to talk about some stupid ♥♥♥♥ like Brain Powerd and Gunslinger Girl. I was enraged that they wouldn't even consider, if I may say so, the greatest anime of the past millennium, so I threw a punch at one of them and broke their glasses. I wanted Haruhi, and they wouldn't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ show it. It serves him right; he smelled bad and always misused Japanese words. I was born in Japan and lived there until I was two, and here this fat ♥♥♥♥ is spouting out horrible Japanese. I was pissed.

After I punched him, he looked as if he was going to cry. Serves him right. He fought back, and I think he ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ broke my nose in the process. What gave him the right to do that? Being too enraged to care, I attacked back and grabbed his neck tightly. I strangled him and drained every inch of life out of him. When I finished shaking him, I noticed he was dead. I panicked, locked the door, closed the windows, put up the blinds, and turned off the lights in the room.
So here I am, in the clubroom, after hours. I just recently covered from the shock, and I decided to post here because I'm frightened. What should I do? HELP!