Recent reviews by random

it's kinda like phantasy star or something, but with thicc furry ass
10/10 add more content

Added battle eye anticheat and blocked linux users from using the online multiplayer

Took away my original actual legitimate copy of ultimate doom, to replace it with some garbage port, i would much rather use gzdoom or something than this trash, ♥♥♥♥ bethesda.

edit: yeah go ahead give me jesters and funny ratings you literal garbage eaters

battlefield warzone

I overwrote my end game save and couldnt play the real ending

nukes your save from orbit no matter what you do, unless of course you dont want to use cloud saves, surely you wouldn't want to use such a useful quality of life feature?

Re-reviewing this game as since the last review, I've beaten the game, there was a DLC announced, and my friends have asked me to try playing this game again,
The simple fact is I can't.
Well not so much as I can't more so that I absolutely do not want to.
This game has a lot of issues, but for the most part where all of it's issues even stem from, is the fact that this game is, whether you can stomach this truth or not, a cash grab. How? Well isn't obvious! We have all the hallmarks of modern AAA slop.

First our open world, a lifeless slog, copy pasted dungeons, copy pasted mini bosses, what starts with the magnificent Limgrave making the attempt to fool you into believing the rest of the game will be like it, devolves into much of this sameness, even eventually going so far as to basically become corridors of terrain, that serve no more than to fill space between areas. Along the way of course like any good modern AAA slop you can pick up as many useless items to fill your inventory as you wish.

Now they brought GRR Martin on to do the story for this game and beyond the open world this is the most obvious ploy to appeal to the unwashed masses. Dark Souls while known for it's lore is not particularly well known for it's story. No! you say to me, it's all about the story! The environmental storytelling yes, you are quite correct. Your Vaati vidya head canon as well does not count.
Now in this world which is trying so very hard to pretend it isn't dark souls and grafting these mechanics onto it, thanks to our lovely writer GRR Martin we must be subject to as much convoluted side quests as From Software can muster in one game. Didn't understand Dark Souls quests before? You wont now. Nah dude for real looking up a guide isn't a good answer to this issue, a game shouldnt need a guide to complete anything key, and games can certainly be TOO convoluted as much as I despise AAA hand-holding.

But now all of this as well sort of comes together to cause further issues, the game has cheapened so many aspects of what made Dark Souls good in order to appeal to a wider audience. We now have the option to summon different sorts of spirits from a typical souls phantom to aid you at any point in this game, Well known is for the ability for this to trivialise some fights due to their expendability and ability to absorb aggro. I avoided this mechanic. But similarly exists a mechanic I did not wish to avoid, but hopefully make much more use of... unfortunately in that regard co-op in this game is an awful experience, there are fog walls everywhere, and after defeating bosses, finding where you can even summon someone becomes difficult. I had wished to play this game co-op with my girlfriend when this game had released but it's a truly awful experience. In Dark Souls the amount of time one would ever have to spend playing by oneself was minimal, in Elden Ring this could take hours before you could be playing together again. I'm dissatisfied with the system. Even so a seamless co-op mod exists and while somewhat remedying this, is buggy in and of itself, and can ruin balancing in some cases.

If we continue to ponder as to why the open world in Elden Ring is such a horrid experience we will find ourselves coming to the point which is that Dark Souls, specifically Demon Souls and Dark Souls 1. Are tightly crafted worlds and experiences where every item you find, every nook and cranny, every path you could take, is designed with the utmost care to add all the details that the average player may not notice on the conscious level but overall elevates this experience unlike anything else could. Dark Souls 1 while not an open world, may as well feel like one with it's deftly interwoven and branching paths, almost akin to a metroidvania. Providing a so much more rewarding experience, especially in a role playing game, than an open world could.

Finally Elden Ring commits it's most egregious of sin, finding no meaningful way to elevate itself mechanically over any previous Souls Game. Sure they add jumping, sure they make weapon arts better but they were in DS3 too, sure they made it open world but it sucks, sure it has more of a story and it's written by a fat slob but that sucks too, sure the bosses are harder but they're overly gimmick, bloodborne-esque and evidence of From Software's lack of creativity, and yknow what the horse sucks. Then they hide this fact with an Open World, GRR Martin, and OMG AAA GFX!!!
Like come on man, the build variety isn't even better than DS3. "Oh but magic is good now!"
Ok, and? Since DS3 any build that isn't a fast build is at an inherent disadvantage, since Bloodborne really all Souls-like games produced at FromSoft saw a shift in design towards fast paced gameplay over anything slow methodical and atmospheric, though certainly rolling and being fast was just as viable in the original games, but being heavy in this game... ha.
It's a sort of plague on FromSoft design lately generally, as much as I loved Armored Core 6, it has the Bloodborne-itis itself.

So I don't like Elden Ring, call me bad, I beat the game, I've beaten Dark Souls 1 and 2 the first time around solo with no multiplayer summons so whatever dude.

People often criticised me for this opinion, but I think people are more willing to hear it now that hype isn't such a factor. This game while a good FPS, and probably the best FPS we've had in awhile, is not a good Doom game. Certainly it's better than Doom 3, and makes a much better attempt even at capturing what Doom (1993) felt like, but nonetheless it falls short and there are a few things I really take issue with.

Nu-Doom is rather slow, sure it's fast, but the game never once is moving at the pace of it's 1993 predecessor. In the original Doom you would find yourself flying down hallways at blinding speed cutting down everything in your path. Nu-Doom both has the character physically moving slower as well as slowed down the overall pace of gameplay. They have done this by introducing glory kills, which especially on higher difficulties, become absolutely mandatory to maintain ammo and restore health, as pickups are not enough, these animations break the pace of gameplay even if sped up, making us stop our rampage to watch a two second cutscene. They also rather than having maze like maps requiring keys where you tear through enemies all the way through. Nu-Doom has you go between empty to nearly-empty hallways, to enter an arena, in order to fight waves of enemies, to enter another hallway, and repeat the process. This loop is nothing like the original Doom and ruins part of what gave the original it's energy. Finally the weapons in Nu-Doom do considerably less damage than their 1993 counterparts in which many could tear down enemies in a single shot or less than a few seconds. In Nu-Doom we find fights with enemies lasting a bit longer, taking more hits, and ending with glory kills.

A side complaint is Nu-Doom is not storyless, though it is story minimal. Really though it has a story and isn't different from many other shooters. This is extremely annoying, the original Doom's story amounted to nothing more than some text at the end of an episode. This may also contribute to the slower overall pace of the game.

Finally the limitations on and subsequent lack of community made content puts the final nail in Doom 2016's coffin, Doom 1993's ability to be modded and it's modding community alone are what had given it's staying power on top of an already solid core game. To this day one could spend thousands of hours alone just playing through community made content for classic ID software shooters.

The game is by no means terrible, but it isn't anything like the original Doom. If you want a game that captures that classic FPS energy I recommend playing something like Devil Daggers or DUSK.

I've played this game on and off for a long time, going all the way back to the JP servers. This is hands down the best MMO you will ever play featuring some of the most engaging gameplay in the entire genre. Not playing this game would be doing yourself a disservice.

I have no clue what this game is about or what it's story is, but the gameplay is alright though.