chin up gamer ur headset is falling

people who like furry media should have sheep sonas

Your hair looks nice today can I please see my family

i had my ass removed butt go off

i'm not allowed to be within 100 feet of this conversation

if one of your allies throws you just gotta be able to catch

You better kill me before my life flashes before my eyes because I don’t wanna see it again.

the cia 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗧𝗦 on their keyboards

trust your gut... unless you have a tummy ache

if you are reading this, stop. lay down, and think about your life.

Frame-perfect forgiveness

*blushes in a walmart kinda way*

you can use your dirty mousepad as a zen garden

the dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed

do you need a poop filter for this

i am NOT TAIWAN STOP ASKING

i wish my dad pulled out

20 mile wide fursuit. lovely. good fetish.

we’re all children of crazy

You'll be amazed by how I don't think

truly a mario masterpiece

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). Disc, AITA?

The bar was so low it was practically an tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil

𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗼 𝗯𝗮𝗱 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗮𝗯𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗹𝗮𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗸

something gun owners never say "I think ima move out to california, its really beautiful"

the usb will never fit in correctly

𝗱𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗼 𝗶'𝘃𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿

nice autism where'd you get it

your accent smells like my smegma

folks be like i hate rp but then tune into the office

That's a virgin move my bro

𝟲𝟵 𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗳𝗮𝗿𝘁

if you go back far enough mothers were packing their children's lunches with tobacco for school

we’re all fatting up for the harvest

*sits like a loaf with a sign pointing towards me that says ashtray breath*

Live fast; Die young; Leave a pretty body

𝗦𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝘂𝗺𝗯 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗯 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗳𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲

𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚐𝚘𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐

ivE FALLEN AND I CANT EJACULATE HELP

going underwater is a breathtaking experience

ᴵ ʷⁱˡˡ ˡⁱᵗᵉʳᵃˡˡʸ ᵖⁱˢˢ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸʷʰᵉʳᵉ ᵒⁿᵉ ᵈᵃʸ

And the whole class clapped and became atheists

*jazz hands* *commits warcrimes* uwu did i do that???

lasagna doesn't quite end up the same after i'm done with it

close ur legs

going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug

You probably sleep in a racecar

you're bleeding to death, circumsoldier

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ no white survivors ♥