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⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⣤⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠜⢾⡟
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠿⠃⠄
⠀⠀⠈⠀⠉⠉⠑⠀⠀⠠⢈⣆
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⠰⣾⣶⣤⡼⢳⣦⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⠞
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⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠇⠀⣿⣿⣿
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⠀⣠⣴⣿⡿⠟⠀⠀⢸⣿⣷
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈
Be turning 23 soon.
Ask parents for Shrek themed party.
Just like the last 12 years.
Mom says I'm too old for Shrek
Tell her she better check herself before she Shrek's herself
Mom asks if I've taken my meds.
I say yes, then ask for an onion flavored cake.
Mom says no.
She sends me to my room and tears stream down my face.
Jacking off will probably cheer me up.
Pull out super dreck MLP Friendship is Magic DVD collection
Open them up to see five Shrek discs (including Puss in Boots) that my mom thought were in her room.
Its the 171st day of the year.
Today I am scheduled to masturbate to Artie from Shrek the Third.
Fap furiously when Artie appears and am finished in seconds.
Wipe semen off my chest with Twilight Sparkle stuffed pony.
Start to think about fight with mother again.
Get an idea.
Sneak out of room.
Mom is sleeping.
Go to shed in backyard
Grab the sharpest tool in the shed.
Stand outside Mom's door.
Too chicken to do it. I pray to Shrek for courage.
Where have you been?
They're heading in this direction.
What are we going to do?
We'll be sent to the spice mines of Kessel,
smashed into who knows what!
Wait a minute. Where are you going?
The Death Star plans
are not in the main computer.
Where are those transmissions
you intercepted?
What have you done with those plans?
We intercepted no transmissions.
This is a consular ship.
We're on a diplomatic mission.
If this is a consular ship,
where is the ambassador?
Commander, tear this ship apart
until you've found those plans,
and bring me the passengers!
I want them alive!
There's one. Set for stun.
She'll be all right.
Inform Lord Vader we have a prisoner.
Hey! You're not permitted in there.
It's restricted.
You'll be deactivated for sure.
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