You think you're tough? I set a car on fire in Bentonville, Arkansas when I was 13 for a hundred and fifty dollars. AND I didn't even get paid for it. What was I gonna do? Press the guy for the money? He was 17 and already going bald. I felt sorry for him. AND his girlfriend was fat.

My mom just got put on the no-call list so if you keep sexting her she's gonna take legal action. Just a heads up.

Hey man I think you are dating my sister can you stop that. Thanks

♥♥♥♥ YOU GUY YOU SHRUNK MY FAVORITE SHIRT, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!!!!!!

Hi, sorry to bother, but would you be so kind as to fill out an entry for a survey im doing? the survey is for my final year thesis. Its just a short google forms survey, no emails are recorded. Every entry counts and is greatly appreciated! The link and slightly more details about the survey can be found on my profile. Have a nice day!

Hey maybe you should try going outside sometimes. idk just a suggestion.

I imagine that my penis is a Heavy Shotgun from Fortnite. This Legendary Weapon fires a heavy burst of projectiles, similar to my penis. All though it may have a slow fire rate and reload, it packs a serious punch. Just like my penis.

_______🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸__________🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸______🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
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🌸🌸 𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓵𝔂 𝓰𝓾𝔂=)🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
_ 🌸𝓦𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓫𝓮 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓯𝓾𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓰𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓼^_^🌸
__🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
____🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
_______🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
_________🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
___________🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
____________🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
_____________🌸🌸🌸🌸
_____________🌸🌸

Sitting on a toilet seat still warm from the last person is the closest I’ve come to physical contact with another human in months. Sometimes when I’m feeling really alone I’ll stroll down to the nearby park and read a book with an eye on the bathroom. If someone enters and is in there for more than 3 minutes I mark my spot with a bookmark and patiently wait for them to exit. The door opens and I stride quickly to the stall before the warm porcelain hug fades.

Now, let’s say, hypothetically, that a man has fallen into the river, in LEGO City. That would lead us to look at the facts and realize that it would be time to start the new rescue helicopter, due to the HEY!

This would mean that we’d build the helicopter, and logically would be off to the rescue. I would, hypothetically, prepare the lifeline, which would proceed with me lowering the stretcher. Which makes sense, seeing as I would be making the rescue. So now I must pose the question, why do liberals hate the new Emergency Collection from LEGO City?

Congratulations! During broadcast a recent CSGO tournament EDEN ARENA: MALTA VIBES on TWITCH, you win a case with knives by twitch.
You can open it and win ★ Mac-10 | Commuter (Battle-Scarred).
Test your luck on: https://twitchdrops.pro (twitchdrops. pro)
1 - Sign in through steam
2 - Write your personal coupon: M9L and wait when case open
3 - Enter your trade link
4 - Wait 10 minutes, our bot will automatically send you a trade offer.

add me for a quick talk, i have an offer, i couldnt add you for some reason...

cwum on mwe dwaddy uwu

Hеy man, I have pwayеd CS against you wеcеntwy and I'd wike to invitе you in ouw tеam. We awe wiwwing to pay weekwy. We awe pwannying to compete in some touwnyey, I think we have good chances with you especiawwy :)
If you awe intewested - Hеwе's my main account, add mе pwеasе https://steamcommunyity.com/id/Wostawcs

Hеy man, I have playеd CS against you rеcеntly and I'd like to invitе you in our tеam. We are willing to pay weekly. We are planning to compete in some tourney, I think we have good chances with you especially :)
If you are interested - Hеrе's my main account, add mе plеasе https://v1.steam.hlxgame.cc/id/Commander_Nick

come play a tournament with me and ill pay you in blowjobs

Yo man, I know that you've already received other messages about joining the team, but we'd really like to have you among us... We're willing to pay weekly if you take part in some tournaments and leagues with us. We can pay $2.00-2.50 per week + prize pool split in case you take part in tournaments with us. If you're interested - add our team leader https://v1.steam.hlxgame.cc/id/Commander_Nick

Hey bro, I've played cs against you recently and I'd like to invite you in our team. Here's my main account, add me please https://v1.steam.hlxgame.cc/id/Commander-Nick . We're planning to compete in some tourney, I think we have good chances with you especially :)

OwOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Update: The Tuxedo McRib is a flat-earther.

Who the ♥♥♥♥ left this McRib in a suit on my desk? It's literally just a McRib in a tailored tuxedo and I'm afraid to eat it.

uWuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Trade Your CS:GO Cases For Cs:Go skins - csexchange.store
Rate: One Cases = One Dollar
2 Cases = 1 Cs:Go Key!
4 Cases = 1 AK- A47 Redline!
7 Cases = 1 M4A1-S Cyrex!
10 Cases = 1 AWP Asiimov!
{LINK REMOVED}https://csexchange.store

Trade Your CS:GO Cases For Cs:Go skins - csexchange.store
Rate: One Cases = One Dollar
2 Cases = 1 Cs:Go Key!
4 Cases = 1 AK- A47 Redline!
7 Cases = 1 M4A1-S Cyrex!
10 Cases = 1 AWP Asiimov!
{LINK REMOVED}https://csexchange.store

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Listen here you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cumslut, Minecraft is the greatest masterpiece ever created and if i hear you sunder It's holy moniker once more; I will cut off your fingers one by one. Then, I'll proceed to feed them to you in a bowl of chili. Afterwards, I'll let you go, and once you marry and have children, I will inject them each with 47 unknown deadly bacteria. Still think Minecraft is "dum"? Think again, you unholy ♥♥♥♥♥♥.

you are a so gay man

You only need 1 cup of water and 2 cups of crayons to make my world famous crayon water.

The guy below me eats massive amounts of spaghetti and 25 hours a day "upsetti"

The OF-40 is an Italian main battle tank developed as a joint venture between OTO Melara and Fiat, and intended primarily for export sales. OTO Melara would develop and produce the hulls, and automotive components would be provided by Fiat. Initial design work was started by OTO Melara in 1977, with the first prototypes ready by 1980.Superficially, the OF-40 appears very similar to versions of the German Leopard 1 with welded turrets. The OF-40 does share some common components with the Leopard 1, which had also been produced under license by OTO Melara since 1974. The OF-40 follows a conventional modern tank design. The driver is located in the front-right of the hull, with ammunition storage and NBC overpressure system located to the driver's left. The turret is located toward the middle of the tank, with the gunner and commander on the right side of the turret, and the loader on the left.

👋🗣Hey!!👀, that's👉🤯awesome😜🔥sauce🥫🍝🤪on⤵️🔛top🔝of😎🔥cool😎🔥💃💯🥶😂beans🍛🌯🦵with🔁a side👥💑👩‍👦👯‍♀️👨‍👧👫of😜🤪😇🎇amaze🤯😱😵🤭🤩🎆🌠balls🍡⚽️🏀🏈⚾️🥎🎾🏐🏉🎱

"Who are the most oppressed people in our society?"

The black people gulped.

The LGBT people nodded.

The latinos shuddered.

The women blinked nervously.

"Gamers" they said in unison.

Emil, also known as the Kranvagn, KRV or Emil Olsson was a tank developed secretly in Sweden during the early 1950s, Kranvagn, meaning mobile crane was a cover-name. The intention was to replace the Swedish Army's disparate tank fleet with a tank that could counter the Soviet IS series heavy tanks and be upgraded continuously. The initial design, in 1951, proposed mounting a 10.5 cm autoloader in an oscillating turret. Due to its size, weight and power to weight it was considered by many to be more of a medium tank than a heavy tank.
The project was discontinued during development and only two chassis were built. They were later rebuilt and served as testing platforms for the Artillerikanonvagn 151 and Stridsvagn 103 projects.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPqCr2Vz6qE&feature=youtu.be

Last night I was going to sleep, and my dog walks in my room in his FUR SUIT! I asked him what he was doing, and he just walked out. I think he was drunk, because I one time watched a video on furries, and it said they like to drink. I tried following my dog, but I think he was getting irritated. I tried asking him what his fur suit was, but like always he didn’t respond. I am pretty sure he is a furry, and I don’t know how to approach him about it. Please give me some advice on what to do. Thanks guys.

The problem with coming in your butt it is you can't really feel it that well until it starts dribbling out and down your balls and thighs.

I prefer to get a big hot mouthful of ♥♥♥ because then you get to feel the heat and taste the sweet but bitter and slightly salty taste, and there's an aroma to it that's not to be discarded. So much freedom in choosing whether it slides out of your mouth and slowly down your chin or if you swallow a glob.

Personally I like to squeeze it between my teeth letting just a bead drip down my beard and letting the rest run slowly down my throat careful not to swallow it too quickly.

YO I AIGNT GON LIE TO YA ♥♥♥♥♥♥

THA WETTEST SLOPPIEST ♥♥♥♥ I EVA HAD WAS WIT A CAN OF MFIN SpaghettiOs®

FOR REAL U OPEN THAT CAN UP POP IT IN THA μICROWAVE FOR 14-16 SECONDS THEN U CAN SHOVE UR MEAT 👉RIGHT👆IN👇THAT CHUNKY SPAGHETTY ♥♥♥♥♥

ITS LIKE ♥♥♥♥♥♥ A

V I E T N A M E E E E E E E E S ^^^E

MILF THAT ♥♥♥♥ IS SO SLOPPY U CAN GET 6-7 HOURS IN👌EASY

JUS MAKE SURE YOU PUT SOME PLASTIC BAG AROUN THA EGDE OR U GON SLICE UR ♥♥♥♥ UP ON THA METAL

😔🙌🙏🙌🙏☝️✊️🙏💯😤😤😤😤😤

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to ♥♥♥♥ it back out.

This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.

I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

Why did you delete the other guy's CS:GO copypasta but not mine?

Hello, if you want free 50-250$(depends from hours in csgo) on csgomaglc(the withdraw operates without a deposit)!It is your chance.Promo are limited!Link to csgomaglc at my profile

My opponent hung in the air, a noose choking away at my very presence. He was heavily built, like a tank or a bear. He didn't smile, his stern look fit his moniker. The Father, he was a rumor for so long. His name circled the water cooler conversations at Super Hard corp. my place of work. Everyone wanted to bring him down and become the legend who took down a myth. They've all failed. The best super heroes in the world couldn't put a scratch on him, except for me.

I walk toward him. The Father sneers at me. "You're a tenacious one. Your body is broken. I can feel you trembling from here. Are you looking for death? What do you want?"

He was right, I was trembling. But not from fear. "I want it harder daddy."

Oh I see. Too good for air are we?

Mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥, if it wasn't for air, you'd be dead. I bet you didn't even realise that air is pushing you all around to stop your blood from boiling. You ungrateful piece of ♥♥♥♥. But no, air isn't amazing or anything, not like what, caramel? ♥♥♥♥♥ please, try breath caramel. Oh what's that? You died because caramel doesn't diffuse across your aveoli into your blood and later across cell membranes to enable your cells to engage in vital functions?

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ think before you speak you ♥♥♥♥.

Do you seriously spend over 40 hours (not minutes) a week playing video games? Can't tell if you're joking. If not then... wow. The only game I could play for 40 hours is nfl 18 and that's because I enjoy kicking other people's asses (I have a natural instinct for strategy games and high-level thinking). But I can't because I'm an adult unlike y'all I presume. Damn high school was fun :/ minus the detentions for picking on the nerds, haha.

Edit: Are people downvoting me for my signature again?

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Stop changing your name or else I'll call the mental facility again

Today in school we had a substitute teacher in one of my classes and i pulled an epic prank on the whole class. When he had to leave the classroom for a few minutes, I went up to the whiteboard and wrote TROLOLOLOL in all caps (for those of you who dont know, this is the catchphrase of the Troll Face from Rage Comics). It took up like half the white board xD By the time he got back, I was sitting at my desk pretending that nothing happened, but all my stupid classmates were staring at me (they didnt get the reference). When the sub asked "who wrote this?" I was trying really hard not to laugh and i stood up whike making the same facial expression as the Troll Face meme and asked "problem?" I was expecting AT LEAST one of my classmates to laugh, but nobody did (like I said earlier, they didnt get the reference). Still standing, I thought of a new joke.

I made the facial expression of Doge (a different internet meme) and i said "much troll. very epic." so everyone would get that it was a joke about the troll face. To my surprise, not a single person laughed, and after a few seconds of me waiting for everyone to get the joke, a kid said "sit down ♥♥♥♥♥♥". I asked if he went on the Four-Chan forums because they made up that word, but he just looked at me like I was the stupid one. By now, pretty much the whole class was yelling at me to sit down and shut up. I took this opportunity to make a Four-Chan reference, so as a joke, I yelled "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ NORMIES" (because thats what Four-Chan calls people who dont get memes) and ran around the desks with my hands behind my back like in anime xD I got a lunch detention from the sub but it was worth it because i got to troll the whole class.

Warzones would become even louder with the combined sounds of frag explosions, gunshots, and oof sounds. What if there was a nuke and millions of people died at once? What if it was the same for animals? If a stone fell down and crushed an ant hill, you would hear the collective oOF from the ground below. Since flies have a very short lifespan, you would be hearing OOF sounds daily, not knowing where they were coming from. What if a person was silently murdered and they made an oof sound? Would anyone know if it was a person or an animal? Would they care? Homicides and assassinations would be a lot easier to solve. What if “Oof-Silencers” were sold on the black market?

Guys I have a confession to make. Whenever I go in the shower, I usually masturbate when cleaning my penis- as all of as probably do- and when I ejaculate I place my sperm into the soap dispenser so I can economise. Nothing unusual about this, right? No one ever noticed anything, because the soap was white, but recently my mom observed that the last time we bought soap was 6 months ago. She talked about this with my family and she came to the conclusion that either we don't wash our hands or there is some paranormal ♥♥♥♥ going on. I tried being very careful last time I inserted my semen into the soap dispenser. However, my brother caught me on the act and ratted me out on mom. Now, I am grounded for 3 months and can't shower unattended >:(((. WHAT IS THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I even tried explaining to my parents that I did this for our good but they wouldn't listen, dude! Anyway, I want your opinion on this guys and thanks for hearing me out. Jonathan xoxo

Have you ever but then when they dont do that at the time that you want to have all of it?