Free Jokes! Sorry if they're crude!

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ㅤ* A policeman stops a woman and asks for her licence. "Madam", he says, "It says here that you should be wearing glasses." "Well", replies the woman, "I have contacts." "Listen, love", says the copper, "I don't care who you know; You're nicked!"
ㅤ* People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
ㅤ* "How much will it cost to have the tooth extracted?" asked the patient. "50 pounds", replied the dentist. "50 pounds for a few moments' work?!" asked the patient. "The dentist smiled, and replied, "Well, if you want better value for money, I can extract it very, very slowly..."
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤ Yuck yuck yuck...

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