cry libby

-rep fat bulging ♥♥♥♥♥ and saggy giblets

Touches kids 0/10

No he isn't bald with achy muscles you cretinous little ♥♥♥♥♥. How dare you ask personal questions about my dear Nobby. He has spent his entire life hiding in the shadows from 'orrible little scumbags like you that neither understand nor wish to learn about his rare condition.

He is cared for by the druids 800 meters beneath our abbey and taught abyssal and elvish magic between modern french and creative writing. If you had anything about you, you would come to the abbey and say to his face why it is your rancid, puny, snaggle-toothed, ballchinned, measly, bowlegged daugher deserves those Chessington tickets more than my boy Nobby. I suggest they hash it out between them in the tiger pit at Chessington itself: a fight to the death and whoever wins the duel can stay and the losers corpse is removed by security and donated to science.

So sick of the bullies in the world. Cruel little bastards that think it's funny to wreck children's hopes and dreams and call it competition.

I'm glad you actually think it's funny to pre-order the last tickets for Chessington world of adventure. My son (who since god introduced him into our pleasant world) has had his sweet eyes on those tickets since he was rejected by the local football team, Bury United, owing to his humorously short stub-legs.

Long story short, if you don't give me those Chessington tickets, I will personally hunt you down and pull your organs out of the incision that I will make in your belly button. Once extracting your soul through your navel, I shall mix it with some cacao powder native to Papau New Guinea and create a potion that will wipe out your bloodline. Then you will know the error of your ways and my weedy gimp son will bask in the glory of our victory. In the meantime we will settle for Legoland Windsor during the summer 'olidees. Tarrah love, Deborah G, 48, Scunthorpe X

No longer maidenless?