Recent reviews by LemmingRush

Holy crap. This is literally the best game I've ever played. Still a hair away from sex, but amazing in it's own right.

Sometimes you find a game and you ask yourself: Is this better than sex? Well it's not, but it's pretty close.

This is the closest a game has come yet to beating reverse cowgirl. It's not actually better than that, but damn. If this trend continues I fear for the continuation of the human race.

I guess when everyone kickstarted this they were all, "Yea this is gonna be the second coming of doggy style". Then when they got a really good Mega Man game they all pissed blood in a fit of rage.

Let's go over the pros:
Infuriatingly hard like all Mega Man games: check
New stupid powerups and moves like all Mega Man games: check
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stupid story like all Mega Man games: check
Blue man boy and creepy scientist like all Mega Man games: check
Great control coupled to your crappy Steam controller like no other Mega Man games: check
Pants ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hard bosses like all Mega Man games: check

Cons:
Cutscenes like all Call of Duty games: check
Still not nearly as good as sloppy half ass drunk doggy style, but at the end of the day it's Mega Man

Is this the best Mortal Kombat ever? Yes

Is it better than sex? No

It's a close second though. Who doesn't want to have bugs barfed into your stomach by a stripper with T-Rex teeth or maybe have your nuts yanked off by Jean Claude Van Dam. 11/10 would play again.

Bonus observation: It's really neat that the game just kinda randomly picks the framerate it wants regardless of hardware. Oh last fight with the same characters and arena was 60 fps, nah it's 30 now ♥♥♥♥♥.

ARK. I ran around, ♥♥♥♥ myself, picked up turds everywhere then tried to make friends with a dinosaur who murdered me. All the while being plesantly warmed by my dual 970's that couldn't run the game at medium setting without chugging like Thomas the Train. If you've got some free time I'd opt for porking instead of this.

Sex = 1
Ark = 0

A quick update here, with 1080Ti's the autism is still at full power, no max settings for you.

Ahhh Call of Duty. The hand job of shooters. No one really wants one, but if offered, you'll go for it. Repetitive, uninteresting and generally has the same ending each time. Sorry COD. I'm gonna go for the hand job, at least then two people can be disappointed in how things look.

I got chased by a zombie that could run through doors and then I died. Then I ate an apple and died. I saw another player and died. It's an excellent death simulator, I highly recommend it. But as usual it doesn't really hold a candle to sex.

Sex: 1
DayZ: 0

Not many bad things to say about this game. You hide in the shadows then brutally cram a sword into cartoony guards. Blood soaked fun for the whole family. Unfortunantly it isn't better than sex.

Ahhh the return of BJ for more Nazi murder. This game is a duel-wielding party that won't quit till we're all cheering atop a barge full of dead blonde guys. On a bad note though, you don't get to kill realistic looking dogs and as far as the usual comparison to sex, this game is lacking.

Sex = 1
BJ = 0