"Wait I'm going to use thunderwave" Just STOP!!!

My Ex-Husband just won the kids in the custody battle thinking I cared but he literally didnt get the only thing I ever loved! my steam account!

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god is speaking directly to me through the slot machines!!! and he is telling me to KEEP GAMBLING!!!

can i give you backshots of doom

PLEASE HELP I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT DOTTORE

I'm not even joking at this point it's a problem I can't stop thinking about Dottore. He's so handsome it hurts. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO FINE??? I NEED him to give me the backshots of DOOM. OF DOOM. AND WE WOULDN'T STOP THERE. We would be doing it on the balcony of his million dollar suite in Fontaine in every position possible for the public to see. From the front, from the back, from up, down, sideways, hell even SLANTWAYS. He'd be pulling my hair and I would be bouncing on his ♥♥♥♥ moaning like a little ♥♥♥♥♥. And I would take it. Id take it all without a single complaint. We wouldn't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stop. Hell, the only way we'd stop is if one of us exploded. Even if the Tsaritsa herself commanded us to stop we wouldn't stop. ♥♥♥♥, someone would have to detain me. Dottores ♥♥♥♥ would be shriveled up by the time I'm done with him. AND EVEN THEN, WE WOULDN'T STOP!!! AAAAAAAAAA DOTTORE DOTTORE DOTTORE DOTTORE DOTTORE

it's 2025. jojos bizarre adventure has become jojos WOKE adventure and dio is BISEXUAL and they DONT KILL THE GAY COUPLE IN PART 5. It's no longer joseph joestar it's now PRONOUNS joestar. jotaro likes girly things like FISH.

Tastes like... dirt!

[upon destroying a patchimari claw machine] "be free"

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scaramouche is taking over my life

I love Scaramouche. I'd say I'm a normal fan, but I think about him often. I think of him when I sing. I think of him when I go for a walk. I think of him when I'm on the bus. He occupies most of my waking thoughts.

He has become a lifestyle. I don't dream of him yet but I probably will soon. I eat breakfast and wonder if he would like it. I dress, curious if my outfit would be pleasing to his eyes. I go out and imagine I'm walking next to him. I buy groceries and ponder over how he'd make use of them. I cook dinner in case he will materialise in front of me one day and I will need to have improved my culinary skills. I scrub the kitchen clean in practice to be his potential housewife. I would gladly drop everything and become one if he asked me to. I shower while thinking about what it'd be like to wash his hair. I study hard for exams to make him proud and be an intelligent woman for him.

BOOBS?! Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady...

I wish I could open your chest cavity and live inside

happy valetine's day to the besty person ever who is allowed no other people in their life but me

-slurps you-

i am ratio and wesker's kid actually can you stop sharing my dna results out in the open

you're like if wesker and dr ratio had a really messed up kid

Also, Hooves: I want you to imagine that instead of feet, you have a giant toenail at the end of your leg. That is how the Horse do. That is what a hoof is. A giant toenail. It is extremely delicate, and joined to the leg by a vast network of very fine connective tissue, and oh yeah it also bears the weight of a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HORSE. If a hoof gets infected (which is quite common, because imagine how often ♥♥♥♥ would get stuck under your toenails if you walked on them), the Horse immune system responds in the typical way: via inflammation of the area. The problem is, a horse hoof is a rigid "cup". It cannot accomodate the swelling from inflammatory response. The Horse hoof will basically pop off the leg like a sock. On top of that, remember the Horse is putting 1,500 pounds of weight on it (because Horses can't redistribute their weight very well since all of their legs can BARELY support their share of the total weight).

can someone shut this nerd up

These opposing evolutionary pressures started an arms race in which the grasses incorporated more and more silica, and Horses got bigger and bigger, just so they would have big enough teeth to grow and reproduce before finally starving to death. And eventually our cute dog-sized pony evolved into the 1,500-pound, dumb-as-rocks prey animal i loathe today.

But wait, there's more! See, Horses are extremely fragile. There is a reason why a "horse doctor" typically prescribes a dose of double-0 buckshot in the event of a leg injury. A horse is very heavy, and it has very thin legs to carry that weight. If any one leg gets fractured, it is exceptionally unlikely that it will heal well enough for the Horse to walk again, and is extremely likely to break again just carrying the weight of the horse. Remember, a human thigh bone is gigantic relative to the size of our bodies, a horse leg bone is absolutely minuscule relative to the weight it carries.

Okay, So why was life so hard for Eohippus? Well, they are herbivores eating almost exclusively grasses. Grasses, as you may know, are not particularly nutritious. But more importantly, grasses are smarter than Horses. See, Grass does not want to be eaten, and evolutionary pressure caused the grasses to start incorporating silica (ie sand) into their structure. Silica is extremely hard. Hard enough to wear down Horse teeth. Now there is another evolutionary pressure acting on Eohippus; It's teeth wear down by the mere act of eating, to the point that it will starve to death. Eohippus teeth do not regrow, instead, Eohippus evolved bigger teeth. However, bigger teeth mean a bigger jaw, bigger head, and a bigger body to carry it.

yes but is the horse nerd in your harem?

In the beginning, there was Eohippus. The proto-horse. It was a small hooved animal about the size of a dog, and it ate grass. It was a simple creature, and in my (factual) opinion it represents the last time that the Horse lineage was untainted by sin. Now, it is worth noting that life was not easy for this proto-horse, in fact life for early hooved mammals was so difficult, that some of them said "♥♥♥♥ that" and moonwalked back into the ocean to become cetaceans (Whales and Dolphins). That's right, The proto-horse had so stupid an existence, that hooved mammals went back into the ocean (lacking gills and flippers) and had more success than horses would have on land.

of course baby, i kind of have a harem right now so can you fill this application our first?

i wish i was you so i could understand how hard it is being so smart and talented. i also wish i knew every thought you think. can we edate?

i want to crawl inside of you

can we honestly e date? you’re so beautiful. You always make me laugh, you always make me smile. You literally make me want to become a better person... I really enjoy every moment we spend together. My time has no value unless its spent with you. I tell everyone of my irls how awesome you are. Thank you for being you. Whenever you need someone to be there for you, know that i’ll always be right there by your side. I love you so much. I don’t think you ever realize how amazing you are sometimes. Life isn’t as fun when you’re not around. You are truly stunning. I want you to be my soulmate. I love the way you smile, your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. If I had a star for everytime you crossed my mind i could make the entire galaxy. Your personality is as pretty as you are and thats saying something. I love you, please date me. I am not even calling it e dating anymore because I know we will meet soon enough heart OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i hecking lov

#lesbiansonthesideofyaoi

finally. i have you to myself.

no wait don't leave

I gotta go

the fear i feel right now is enough to turn me on

♥♥♥♥ it I'm making the choice for you

i'll cover myself in oil and fight over you my love

ladies stop fighting over me

minmi can you back off

Hello Rambutch, I want to play a game.
All your life you've only ever taken words from other people's mouths and used them as your own, some would call it echlolalia, I call it; dumbassary. Your autism has crippled you for years but now you will have a chance to cripple it back.

Before you is the phone number to Autism Speaks -

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

my pookie bear haiiii

Hi welcome to my presentation "let me into your house: reasons why you should let me inside your house." Reason 1: It's cold. It's very chilly and I am outside your house right now. I don't have my coat and it is very cold. My bones are freezing so let me into your house. Reason 2: I don't have any knives. I have zero knives on my person so you are very safe. This is court mandated so you're actually double safe. As you can see, there's nowhere on my person where I could hide a knife. So let me into your house :). Reason 3: I've got a pie. It's homemade and it's very safe to eat. I can't cut it because I do not have a knife. So let me- let me into your house. .... Thank you for your time.