If Laughing Kamala pardons the minions for their horrific war crimes overseas, then we might have a 50-state sweep on our hands. True American patriots want to see our boys in blue (overalls) home and free to get into slapstick-based shenanigans. Oh, and Laughing Kamala, let the minions fart again. They used to fart all the time. Now they only do it like once or twice a movie.

My ♥♥♥♥ is too big for my underwear. This is just me being real. My underwear is too small for my ♥♥♥♥, and if I get hard it’s gonna break through so please don’t upload images of old grannys in the reply section.

- rep: this is hate mail

+rep let me hit it from the back

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We regret to inform you that your Credit Card titled "Daddy's ♥" has been declinded, any of your latest purchases will not be processed due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases and total cost with your local bank.

The listing follows

- 1x Monster Dragon ♥♥♥♥♥ With ♥♥♥ Dispenser (15") $89.99
- 1x CCTV Footage of Local Playground and Preschool $15.99
- 6x Magnum condoms (XXXL) $24.45
- 1x Cummies Lubricant 44oz $19.99
- 1x Next day shipping $45.00
- 1x 240 Volt ScrewMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating ♥♥♥♥♥♥, elasticized ♥♥♥♥ with non-drip ♥♥♥♥♥ collection pouch, together with optional built-in realistic ♥♥♥♥♥♥ scream surround sound system $5,600.95
- 1x Frequent Shopper Discount (15%)