A man whose introduction is worth its weight in flesh. Pound for pound. This is what happens when nothing else does. A recrowning of ones creation. “Forget the name it had yesterday, today it is fresh, today it is ground.” nevermind that i go forth with tomorrows revision already in mind. “Righten up! Behind me is insanity. As i am now is my pinnacle.” each day to follow quoting these words anew. All in the vain premise of just telling a story. I have spent so long trying to figure out why i am still writing. I have now learned why. It is to create a beautiful thing. That is for now why i crest my future. To create many such beautiful things. All in the happy hope that i wont be alone in appreciating their beauty. At the root of it all is the creation of me, that i may be a source of joy in those who stumble into me. At that i will have met my needs. Joy of others to satiate my hungry heart. Joy to be the roof over my head and the clothes on my skin. Joy my only necessity to be myself happy. Evidence of smiles at my creations to fill my head with contentment. But the world still wants what it wants from me. It wants me to give it money so i can exist. It wants me to learn things i dont need day in day out before it will let me be. It demands me to see through the money game i never asked to play. Never has anyone haggled with the world in exchange. Everybody tells you what they were told by everybody. Nobody listens to nobody. Everybody is everywhere. Its safe. Its free of risk and mistake. If you listen to everybody and later find out everybody told you a lie, you dont need to feel shame or guilt. You were merely fooled, yourself a victim. Whatever happened to the risk? The patrons and the kings. Those who would lift one up on their potential. He who had already won the money game leaving the footsteps for his next in kin.
Im sure i made myself homesick staring at the stars as a child. I was different, but not like the others. An alien unable to fit in with even the misfits. Ive found myself a missing emotion a short moment ago when i exited the car at dead of night in the rocky mountains outside of cache valley. A distance off from the city or civilization. An isolated road running along a dry winter riverbed. All things not obscured in the shallow dark of the night, but illuminated by it. Look up. And i saw the heavens immeasurable as clear as i ever in my life have. But second place to waking up when the stars in their stretching legs of light pierced my eyes with malice. Attacked by the place i only ever wanted to be. But now, it is beautiful. It was new to see the milky way run a river overhead. Here finally, i see it differently. Having lived a man from the moon and the sun and the earth i view laneikea as a man of mankind. An alien having lived long enough to become the local. Pleasured in his insignificance with which he appreciates the incomprehensible as the wholly beautiful. The objective beauty punctuated by a smile i could not repress or notice. A gaping awe unstoppable for as long as i beheld the sky above itself. No longer a canvas poked with a tack but a land of tangible depth. Look at the stars as a man of 3 dimensions and see they are just like you. Subject to time and distance. Eventually the moments time comes to an end and i must collapse the boundless sky into a firmament. Thus is the power of scale. Scale oneself to what gives one happiness. Open the sky to infinity when you wish to bear its beauty, collapse the canvas to a snowglobe when you seek to feel one with your fellow man or feel a significance on your marble. Become a member of your town when your mind finds simple satisfactions in it, and when you are done with a day or in need of a retreat, shrink all that is to yourself. Contained to your skull as a soul. Your significance to reality and yourself is not a question to be answered by any other than yourself. The facts are yours to will to be.