Recent reviews by Jazzbox

This game is an embarrassment. I'm not even talking about the cars driving like buses on ice, the graphics feeling like you submerged your video card in lead paint, and the map being so unintuitive you'll drive around for hours just trying to find something to do... because while all of that is true, it's much worse than that. I wanted to like this game. I could have forgiven it for all these things. No, the real problem with this game is its atmosphere, or rather the lack thereof.

For a game that purports to be a 1:1 replica of Hong Kong, it sure is missing a lot. There's hardly any traffic to fill the massive streets. The lifeless buildings look like they've been copied and pasted hundreds of times, as though it were as limited in textures as a PS1 game (though with none of the charm, sadly). I saw a traffic sign that literally said "PLACEHOLDER TEXT." The few drone cars you see are always either plain taxis or Raptor F150s. Who is driving a Raptor in Hong Kong???? Speaking of which, this game makes no effort to create the illusion you're in HK, which is frankly its greatest sin. All the NPC voices sound like they're from California. There isn't even a cantopop radio station, rather it's all the same EDM/hip-hop soup.

This is a soulless husk of a game that doesn't even try. "Shameless cash grab" doesn't begin to describe this mess. I can count on one hand, the number of games I've paid full price for on the day of release, and this is one of them. I've had more fun with games I paid $3 for on Christmas. Therein lies the true reason for this game's failure. It teases you with nostalgia for a classic franchise--the promise of reliving a memory, but it has no resemblance to its namesake. This game is the school cafeteria that teases you with posters of flawlessly crafted pizza, then serves you green goop after you've forked over your cash.

As Roger Ebert might have put it... this game sucks.

I got a job away from IT so I wouldn't have to deal with trying to connect a half dozen corporate systems together. Thanks to EA, I can now have that experience while playing a game! My inbox was empty, but now I have hundreds of authentication emails to treasure! Thanks, EA! ♥️

Here we have the most specific demographic I've ever seen for a game: trans lesbian furries.

As a trans lesbian furry, I approve.

Also the game is fantastic, a reimagining of an old brony fangame. You already know if this is the game for you, and I'm here say you won't regret buying it. Just don't go into strangers' houses looking for treasure chests and potions, you perv. Who does that???

gay, 11 out of 10

People complain about games being overly sexualized, but nobody ever asks what lesbians want.

I want hot women in my games, damn it! This delivers. Bayonetta hot. Also the game is good too.

I bought this game a few years ago. It was okay, but it no longer runs. It tells me I'm a "free user" and must purchase the game again. It's garbage now.

It's a boatload of fun. I think I've logged more hours in it than any other game in my library. It's that addicting.

Keep in mind though, it has a major drawback; when you pass 28k citizens or so, the game suddenly becomes extremely difficult. Traffic is not well-optimized, and the AI drivers are downright stupid. Mods don't help much, either. This has a way of breaking your entire city. If cims can't get to work, businesses start to shut down, etc... I've started several cities and followed every tutorial, but even with all mods and cheats enabled, traffic eventually grinds to a halt. It really spoils the game, unfortunately.

I'd play it for a thousand hours if only they'd make the traffic a little smarter.