Derp viewmodel:
viewmodel_fov "68"
viewmodel_offset_x "2.5"
viewmodel_offset_y "1"
viewmodel_offset_z "-1.5"

Derp crosshair:
cl_crosshairStyle 4
cl_crosshairSize 3.5
cl_crosshairgap -2
cl_Crosshairthickness 1.5