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I loved Harambe so much..
I had merchandise from the Zoos gift shop..
Harambe pictures and all..
I'd pray every night to Harambe, thanking him for the life I had been given.
Harambe is love, I'd say, Harambe is life.
My daddy overheard me and calls me a ♥♥♥♥♥♥.
I knew he was just jealous for my devotion to king Harambe.
So I called him a ♥♥♥♥ monkey.
He slaps me and sends me to bed.
I lay in bed, it's cold..
Suddenly I feel a warmth..
Its Harambe.
I'm so happy.
He whispers in my ear.. "This is my enclosure."
He grabs me with his powerful godly hands, and puts me on my hands and knees.
I'm ready... As Harambe forces his way in my butt with his big gorilla ♥♥♥♥.
My dad walks in and Harambe looks him in the eyes and says "♥♥♥♥♥ out for Harambe" and flies out the window.
Harambe is love Harambe is life
>watch shrek is love shrek is live for first time
>lol
>the shrek humping part gets me in the mood to fap
>go to my reliable fapsite and think about what to watch as i stare at the search bar
>shrek porn
>♥♥♥♥♥♥ 3d stuff comes up
>go to bing and type shrek porn
>open a couple promising videos and start to fap
>literally ♥♥♥ faster then i ever have before
>start fapping to shrek porn regularly
>realize a couple faps later that i am fapping mainly to shrek and not fiona or whoever he is pounding
>lookup pictures of just shrek and his bulging ♥♥♥♥
>for the first time in my life get so horny that i make a homemade dildo and lube it and put it in my ass
>hurts really bad at first but after a while it feels amazing
>bounce up and down stroking my ♥♥♥♥ while looking at shreks throbbing ♥♥♥♥
>it feels so good im audibly moaning against my will
>YES SHREK PLEASE FILL ME WITH YOUR WARM OGRE ♥♥♥
>when i ♥♥♥ i orgasm and my eyes roll into the back of my head
>repeat this every night
>eventually stop out of feeling like a total weirdo
>now im back to watching straight porn
>mfw i still think back to when for about half a year i unironically fapped to shrek like a weird ♥♥♥♥♥♥
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Me: Woah, some very nice women here.
*Shot glass slams on table*
Classy: Well, well, well. What do we have here?
Me: Hi, old buddy.
Classy: You have some nerve showing your face here after what you did.
Me: Classy, that was long ago...
*4 bouncers stand up next to Classy*
Classy: I think it's time you leave, Cloockes.
Me: *Unlights cigar and throws away in nearby bin* Make me.
Classy: *Signals the bouncers to attack Cloockes*
Me: *Unholsters M19-* *Gets shot multiple times rapidly*
Classical: Good job men.
Cloockes: *Dies*
-------------------------------------------
Didn't expect that ending huh? Thought I was some cliche ♥♥♥♥? Shame...
………………„-^*'' : : „'' : : : : *-„
…………..„-* : : :„„--/ : : : : : : : '\
…………./ : : „-* . .| : : : : : : : : '|
……….../ : „-* . . . | : : : : : : : : |
………...\„-* . . . . .| : : : : : : : :' |
……….../ . . . . . . '| : : : : : : : : |
……..../ . . . . . . . .'\ : : : : : : : |
……../ . . . . . . . . . .\ : : : : : : : |
……./ . . . . . . . . . . . '\ : : : : : /
….../ . . . . . . . . . . . . . *-„„„„-*'
….'/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
…/ . . . . . . . ./ . . . . . . .|
../ . . . . . . . .'/ . . . . . . .'| Give This ♥♥♥♥ To Everyone
./ . . . . . . . . / . . . . . . .'| You care about.
'/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'|
'| . . . . . \ . . . . . . . . . .|
'| . . . . . . \„_^- „ . . . . .'|
'| . . . . . . . . .'\ .\ ./ '/ . |
| .\ . . . . . . . . . \ .'' / . '|
| . . . . . . . . . . / .'/ . . .|
| . . . . . . .| . . / ./ ./ . .
| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄|
| windows has detected u as a ♥♥♥♥♥ ass ♥♥♥♥♥
| dis tru?
| ______ ______ _____ |
| |Yes | |Yes | |Yes | |
|  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ |
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\( ° ͜ʖ ͡° )
> ⌒ヽ
/ へ\
/ / \\
c==3 レ ノ ヽ_つ
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( (ヽ
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| | ) /
`ノ ) Lノ
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