Recent reviews by McFresh

NO!

At the time of writing this review, I have owned the game for 976 hours. At the time of writing this review, I have played the game for 976 hours.

10/10

This game would be phenomenal were it not for the ungodly combat system, dont get it.

Im gonna post a semi serious review, if you read negative reviews, its because they are people taking this game way to seriously. This game revolves around nonsensical climbing combined with spinning dongs. If you try to take this game seriously, you're not gonna have a good time.

Now so i still have a funny-ish review, in my first match against my friend i did nothing but teabag his characters with my spinning dong. I won.

10/10

So... I really love this game... but im so pissed at From. I'm sure you all heard of the rerelease coming out soon. The one that will probably be another full priced game... I want to get it, but i can't condone that sort of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ so im a little torn. I am starting to waiver in my support of this company. They can't really expect us to pay for a new version of this game, a version that is going to be what the game should have already been in the first place. It just pisses me off. So I love this game, and I love what the update could become, but i just can't support this company anymore.

Do I recommend this game? The ♥♥♥♥ kinda ♥♥♥♥♥♥-ass question is that? This game is one of my all time favorite games, and ive played a lot of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ games. I tattooed this games hero, Rex ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Colt, on my left ass-cheek. First off, this game is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. But my old computer was a potato and can't run games for ♥♥♥♥, but could still run this game on medium, which is absolutely ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gorgeous, because its optimised like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

To add to that, you're a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cyber commando with a robot arm who cracks puns at every turn and stabs people with a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ energy knife and throws shuriken in their fat robot faces. And there are dragons. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dragons! Dragons that glow and shoot ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lasers out of their eyes! In the beginning you are a ninja, but endgame, you are a laser shooting god. When you murder people, its called divine intervention. I dubbed my shotgun the Deus Ex Machina. Don't know what that is? You don't need to. It sounds like its coming to wreck your ♥♥♥♥, kill your family, and burn your house down! Which it does, because the world is flammable. The grass, the trees, the enemies, are all flammable. But not the dragons. You try to burn them, they will stomp on your face and shoot ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lazers at you!

So, buy this game.

Personally, I think this game is just... dry. I had 90% off coupon and got it for 50 cents. It has a cool system. You unlock classes through the story and then equip them in a player shop before each level. It's neat, but I just didn't enjoy my short time playing this game. That being said, it feels like a 5 dollar game. So while i can't recommend it, I say you get what you pay for.

So i played this game before. Its an amazing game. But if you dont want to go through Games for Windows, dont buy this game. It is a requirement to be connected to Live in order to save your progress. I dont know if there is the possibility of offline play, but it is unlikely. So i reccommend doing what i wish i did, flip microsoft the bird, and dont waste your time and money getting this game to work. ♥♥♥♥ you microsoft.

Edit
Redownloaded this game and saw my negative review. Games for Windows is dead. The tyranny is over, I can save my progress now. Amazing game, you break ♥♥♥♥ with a hammer, you break ♥♥♥♥ with explosives, and you can break ♥♥♥♥ by ramming into it with a car. Very good game. Would reccomend.

Steam asked me if I recommend this game. ♥♥♥♥ yes i recommend this game.