I don't want to have a conscience.
I don't want to have a mind.
Or a soul.
I'm in pain.
I'm stuck.
Stuck with myself.
Even when I have people who'll mourn me,
It's never enough.
When did I ever stop to think about myself?
What would I mourn?
Maybe freedom.
Not the kind of freedom parents give you once you're in your teens.
Or the kind of freedom to do whatever please.
I've never had the freedom to stop torturing myself.
TO stop letting my conscience kill me.
Drain me.
But I no longer have to be tired for a rest I'll never get.
I can rest forever.
I can save myself from myself.
I'll be at peace.
For how long as i please.
And I'll never look back.