So, I was at my friend's place. It's 3 AM, and my friend Mike was absolutely out for the count on the couch, mouth wide open, snoring like an Irish guy. Naturally, being his bro, I thought it would be funny if I made him sniff my balls, so I got myself naked and tried to teabag him a little bit without making it sexual, because he's my bro and I have to do it. I'm hovering over him, trying to maintain a precarious squat, and then tried to flick my balls with my finger just to get them to tag his nose, so his nose would suck them right into his nose. The balls got vacuumed into his nose as I expected them to, but the thing is that it felt really good, so it made me lose my balance for just a moment, which caused my balls to enter his mouth and wake him up. When he woke up, bro just screamed at me like I was trying to rape him or something. The next day, the dude just straight up ignored me as I walked past him at school. I don't know why bro is mad

yes

nanomachines son

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+rep Met this guy in DBD pubs. He started SWFing with me pretty regularly. We got pretty close. He invited me to his birthday party. He said he lived in West Virginia. Being I lived only an hour and a half from his house, I accepted the invite. When I got to his house I met his sister. His sister was pregnant and he started saying how he couldn't wait to be a father. I thought he meant uncle so I thought nothing of it. As the night went on he kept on saying father. I asked him how he was going to be a father? He said that the baby was his and how she was a good F***. I was like oh okay and made nothing of it. He asked me if I wanted to give her a go? I was like dude that's your sister. He said mi casa su casa. So I shrugged my shoulders and went all in. Solid dude.. 10/10 would do his sister again.

+rep cool thalita main

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You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

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The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

This person was 9001 giga-brain survivor. Dropped a pallet to do a CJ flashlight save.. Normally, when you do this you want to immediately vault back over.. This person had no intentions and knew the killer would turn to face the other way.. and tricked the Nurse into picking me up facing away from the pallet for the free-est of saves. Blew my mind.

A NUCLEAR REACTOR HAS EXPLODED IN LEGO CITY. START THE EMERGENCY HELICOPTERS. HEY. BUILD THE HELICOPTERS, THROW BORON INTO THE REACTOR AND STOP THE DISASTER. THE NEW CHORNOBYL COLLECTION FROM LEGO CITY.

ggs, was the Leon. Thanks for doing the gates, saved my life

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Met this guy at gas station, he was trying to sell me a ps5 but I really liked his butt so we hooked up and I ended up stealing the money and the ps5 from him. I definitely recommend doing business with him. What a nice guy this Dakota guy is!!!

There's no mistake. You're a wanted man... and it's time to pay for your crimes.

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Being a hentai actress must be so weird. Imagine this: you’re in a soundproof room pleasurably screaming into an 800,000¥ microphone about how much you love old man ♥♥♥♥ at 10:47 AM on a Tuesday in October while your 45-year-old boss oversees you through a glass window from the other room. You eventually look up after 2 hours of practicing your unnaturally high-pitched moans and see him give you a big thumbs up as you pretend to have an orgasm.

AKI WAS HERE

╔═══════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══════════════════╗
If you're a beautiful strong black woman, someone will put this in your comments.
╚═══════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══════════════════╝

🎃
TWIST MY STEM 🎃
SLAP MY BUTT 🎃
MAKE ME YOUR 🎃
PUMPKIN SLUT 🎃
EAT MY SEED 🎃
EAT MY PIE 🎃
JUST DON'T FINISH 🎃IN MY EYE 🎃♥♥♥♥ 🎃
MY 🎃
BIG 🎃
FAT 🎃
PUMPKIN 🎃
ASS 🎃
DADDY'S GOURD LOOKS OH SO YUMMY 🎃SHOOT YOUR GOO AND FILL MY TUMMY!

+rep Loved the way they dropped Pallets. Vaulted Windows, Loop the killer for 5 gens, got all the unhooks, broke the devour,ruin, undying and no ed while mid chase, and open the doors and left through hatch! Amazing person and survivor! (:

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.

I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you?

If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit.

If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that.

But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger

hello! sorry for scare, but just notice profile on the Steam Community. you know how hard it are to find girls who play video game nowadays??? well, Im glad I stumble apon this little prof cause I gotta say.... ur prety cute!! ^ ((sorry for scare, no trouble ) well... I was wondering if u wanted to play tf2 with me (Im a plat sniper, so I can carry my little princes if need. =-}) CUZ I really want someone to pub wit me.. hey hey, maybe even I could get you unusual as little gift. you like Buring? Me too, me too. anyways any, do you maybe have Skype? (no scare. no scare, I iust like meating eye to eye.) if we skype, I think we could have some good buddy commucation. :)) ( i can even turn down my dubstep music in the background if you want...) add me if you want please, I jsit need friend maybe even girlfriend, to play video with.m I can be the perfect guy for you, trust!! ill buy whatever, do whatever, okay?? jsit pick up that phone and CALL. :)

Hey this is your local recruiter, we got word that you are a super soldier capable of stopping the spread of ISIS. Therefore we have come to draft you in hopes that we can reach an end to this long conflict. Report to your local Army recruiting office by next week.

was fun

good luck

+rep Godly survivor

+rep good teammate, helps takes hits and flashlights

+rep good teammate!

+rep cool player, good team

+rep spoke to this guy for barely 30 secs but he sounded chilled af

+rep super fun to play with -rep stole my name

-rep wears grandma claudette with business slacks to spite me

+rep cool dude!!! phas and dbd pro!!!

+ Rep for not quitting just like a Chad

+rep Nice Čŏćk

+rep what does this mean

+rep cute boi

+rep Excellent survivor

-rep ♥♥♥♥ broadcaster

+rep are u selling or giving away weekend Claudette codes i am willing to do everything for it <33

+rep great s e x last night

ah ♥♥♥♥

ive never had dbd codes...

do you have any extra dbd codes? <3

also beating the binding of isaac burnt me out on steam pretty hard in general so i had to find something fun to play that wasnt singleplayer

ive been playing overwatch but im gonna start getting back on soon so i can play sekiro

u ded frend?