Ladies and Gentlemen, gather around as I introduce a man of great experience and even greater patience. He's an expert in the art of matrimony, having tied the knot more times than a boy scout. A connoisseur of wedding cake, a collector of divorce papers, and a man who's walked down the aisle so often, he's earned frequent flyer miles. Please put your hands together for the man who's loved and lost, but mostly just lost... his sanity, his peace, and half of his belongings. He's not just a survivor of the game of love; he's a seasoned veteran with the emotional scars to prove it. So, if you're looking for advice on marriage, he's got plenty to give—just maybe take it with a grain of salt, or the whole shaker.