Recent reviews by DefoGinger

How to play the game:

Spawn in your beautiful, historically accurate tank.

Drive 20 meters forward with pride and purpose.

Get vaporised by Sven in a Swedish IKEA-branded rail-gun who’s been camping the map border since the Cold War.

Stare at the kill cam and contemplate your life decisions.

Return to hanger.

Repeat.

Cry.

Cry harder.

Don't get me started on realism: AKA "I Can’t See, I’m Dead"

Realistic Battles remove your HUD and cross-hairs, making it just like real life—if in real life, you were blindfolded, had no depth perception and got sniped by an invisible German named Hans in the bush that isn’t even rendered in yet and who has been camping in the same shrub since 1943.

You don't fight in Realistic mode. You exist briefly before being turned into a smouldering crater by something with thermals, rangefinding, and the moral compass of a lobotomised hyena. It’s not “realistic.” It’s "unfair hide and seek with explosives."

Don't get me started on helicopters because if you weren’t angry enough

You're in your cute little tank, probably with a decal of an anime girl on it, minding your own business, when suddenly here comes Level 18 Vladislav the Oil Baron, piloting a Ka-50 he bought with his mother’s credit card and a brick of uranium, fires a missile at you from 8 kilometres away like an airborne middle finger.

You can’t shoot back.
You can’t run.
You can only watch your death slowly like a peasant watching a meteor come at you.

Premium Vehicles = Pay to Suffer Faster

For the low, low price of £60-£2,000 (or a kidney), you can own a premium tank that:

Still gets uptiered to oblivion

Still has armour made of wet cardboard

And still gets ammo-racked by a child playing on a microwave

The only premium benefit is that your suffering is tax-deductible as emotional damage.

Premium doesn’t mean better it just means you get to lose with style.

I have over 1,000 hours in this game. That’s:

41 days

58,800 minutes

3 full mental breakdowns

And enough time to learn a language, pick up a hobby, or develop actual coping mechanisms

Instead, I used it to unlock a tank that got powercrept three updates ago and now exists solely as target practice for CAS

War Thunder is not a game. It’s a lifestyle of perpetual suffering. It’s the equivalent of ordering a steak and being repeatedly hit with the cow it came from. It’s like ordering a pizza and getting slapped with a frying pan instead. Then reordering the same pizza tomorrow. A military sim where the only thing simulated is your willpower crumbling in real time.

And yet…

I’ll be back tomorrow. Grinding some stupid tree like an idiot. Because underneath the bugs, the economy, and the emotional trauma, War Thunder is still… kind of fun

God help me.

Don't listen to them.

War Thunder is a Russian psy-op wrapped in beautiful graphics, disguised as a military sim, monetised like a mobile game, and balanced by a blindfolded raccoon. It will drain your time, money, sanity and teach you what “BR compression” is, then beat you over the head with it.

But damn, the tanks look nice. 10/10 would not recommend — unless you hate yourself and want to make it everyone's problem.