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Sweden


interesting conversation starters
1. how many apples do you eat in a day?
2. what country are you from (one answer only)?
3. what is your favorite popcorn topping?
3a. what the ♥♥♥♥ who does that
4. are you familiar with the antique american equestrian garment 'assless chaps'?
5. what makes a creature 'ratlike'? facial features, build, behavior?
6. can i see you dm history with discord user artis13?
6a. what the ♥♥♥♥ who does that
7. if all your friends jumped into a bottomless garbage pit at a dive bar, would you, likewise, jump into the bottomless garbage pit?
8. how many kilograms of potatoes does your village require for sustenance?
8a. would you, selflessly, put ongoing social interactions on hold in order to peel that many potatoes, alone, without notifying anyone you were hanging out with that you would be feeding the entire village and the king's garrison before returning?
one day we were playing games. he goes to the kitchen. wasn't thinking about it. he grabs snacks as often as anyone else does, right? wrong. i asked him what he was getting. he was getting an apple.
"oh, cool, you trying to eat healthy?" no. this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ has eaten two apples a day since he was a child. how? how could he be so consistent? i theorize that he is, in part or in whole, a horse.
think about it. ask yourself: is it that far-fetched? the horsezee hypothesis is consistent with everything i know about him. in my mind, there is no doubt that this equine infiltrator has deceived all of us.
the next time you interact with him, please, bear this in mind. do not approach him from behind. if he seems irritable, offer him a sugar cube to calm him down, and make sure there is no debris in his hooves or mats in his mane or coat.
this revelation has completely changed how i interact with him. please be cognizant of our mutual friend's condition and offer him the proper support, reassurance, and care; if we fail to do this, he'll soon hoof it for greener pastures.