You have 3000 Matches and yet you still dont understand the value of economy and utility.
You are a fkcing retarded bot even the trash rank you are is not bad enough for the way you play.
Do you have some kind of fkcing learning disability that after palying this game for thousands of hours you still dont understand that when you cant afford a real gun after a loss, that you need to eco and vice versa?
how do you have 3000 hours in this game and you dont buy kit in a full buy round and dont bus utlty against 2 awps and a fkcing scouit when your nade slots are filled wiht HEs and flash bangs you dont use or waste because you have literally 0 fkcing idea wht to do with them.

poeple like you honestly just blow my mind. It is like you are trying to be the most useless you can be. Even just dropping ANY fkcing teammate anything you buy would net you a higher impact than the one you had mate

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠒⠂⢀
⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⣰⣶⣦⡈
⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣖⣿⣷⣴⡄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⠛⠩⠁
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡏⠉⠄⠁
⠄⠄⢀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠺⡇⠄⢵⣤⣀
⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⣷⣀⠈⠙⠛⠑⠄
⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠹⣿⣿⣿⡦⠄⠹⢿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢰⣤⣀⣀⣠⣔⢰⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡈
⢠⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢸⡆⠄⠐⠄⢸⣿⣌
⢸⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⢸⣿⡿⢿⡤⠄⠈⠄⠄⢀⠄⢰⣿⣿⡄
⠈⢿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⣿⣷⣦⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⠘⢿⣿⡇
⠄⠈⠻⣿⣇⠠⠄⢀⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡆⠄⠄⠘⣿⡇
⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣧⢀⣿⣿⢷⣶⣶⣶⣾⢟⣾⣄⠄⡴⣿⡀
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣧⣝⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⠇⢸⣿⣿⡎⡡⠋⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣝⠛⠋⠁⣿⣿⡎⢠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣷⠄

let's win more

noob with wh

+ rep my favourite low skilled player

Huge round!

immortal, add me too

Want to play?

Single catgirl looking for German CEO:
https://v1.steam.hlxgame.cc/id/catsarethebestmeow

...................…………………………._¸„„„„_　　　▂ ▪　▂▄▅▆▇■▀▀〓◣▬ ▪ ￭ …
…………………….…………...„--~*'¯…….'\◢▆▇████████▆▃▂　 ▪ ￭▂▄▃▄▂
………….…………………… („-~~--„¸_….,/ì'◢▇█▀　¨▂▄▅▆▇██■■〓◥◣▄
…….…………………….¸„-^"¯ : : : : :¸-¯"¯/'
……………………¸„„-^"¯ : : : : : : : '\¸„„,-"
**¯¯¯'^^~-„„„----~^*'"¯ : : : : : : : : : :¸-"
.:.:.:.:.„-^;;.... : : : : : : :: : : : : : :„-"
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:. ;;..... : : : : : : : ¸„-^¯
.::.:.:.:.:.:.:.:. : : : : : : : ¸„„-^¯
:.' : : '\ : : : : : : : ;¸„„-~"¯
:.:.:: :"-„""***/*'ì¸'¯
:.': : : : :"-„ : : :"\
.:.:.: : : : :" : : : : \,
:.: : : : : : : : : : : : 'Ì
: : : : : : :, : : : : : :/
"-„_::::_„-*__„„

Lets play one more round?

+rep epic gamer

Signed by DeadFox

⡴⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀
⠸⡇⠀⠿⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⣠⠾⠁⣀⣄⡈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠂⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡿⢿⣆
⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⣁⣀⠀⠴⠂⠙⣗⡀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠭⢤⣴⣦⣤⣹⠀⠀⠀⢀⢴⣶⣆
⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣽⣾⣿⣥⣴⣿⣿⡿⢂⠔⢚⡿⢿⣿⣦⣴⣾⠸⣼⡿
⠀⢀⡞⠁⠙⠻⠿⠟⠉⠀⠛⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢤⣼⣿⣾⣿⡟⠉
⠀⣾⣷⣶⠇⠀⠀⣤⣄⣀⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠀⠉⠈⠉⠀⠀⢦⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣽⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⣽⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣶⣮⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃

<3

+rep) Merry xmas :D

-rep -rep

BAN HENTAI!!11

+rep good player, best teammate

Just me and my 💕daddy💕, hanging out I got pretty hungry🍆 so I started to pout 😞 He asked if I was down ⬇for something yummy 😍🍆 and I asked what and he said he'd give me his 💦cummies!💦 Yeah! Yeah!💕💦 I drink them!💦 I slurp them!💦 I swallow them whole💦 😍 It makes 💘daddy💘 😊happy😊 so it's my only goal... 💕💦😫Harder daddy! Harder daddy! 😫💦💕 1 cummy💦, 2 cummy💦💦, 3 cummy💦💦💦, 4💦💦💦💦 I'm 💘daddy's💘 👑princess 👑but I'm also a ♥♥♥♥♥! 💟 He makes me feel squishy💗!He makes me feel good💜! 💘💘💘He makes me feel everything a little ♥♥♥♥♥ should!~ 💘💘💘 👑💦💘Wa-What!💘💦👑

+Rep this player is fantastic, just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting kills

tfw rickrolled by pjpjotr

+rep pleasure doing business with you (he went first with paypal)

alle germanen sucksen dicken

Part seven: Dating Profile

Single and ready to mingle! Teemo, the Swift Scout.

I'm a scout who lives in Bandle City, and am looking for a light, honest-to-heart relationship. Applicants ought to know right away that to get to me, you have to get through my BFF Tristana. We're thicker than thieves, on the job and outside of it!

Likes: long walks in the jungle, my work, sharing a drink with friends.

Dislikes: burst damage, hard CC, people who can't take a joke, drama.

One thing to know about me: I'm a Yordle. You might have guessed it from my profile image, lol. That means I'm shorter, and more emotional than some human or cat-person or Zaunite project. I break down at sad movies and want to beat up the villains in my favorite action flicks (John Wick 2 and Shaolin Soccer, bee-tee-dubs :) )

[...]


What I want most in a partner: honesty and commitment. Someone who doesn't underestimate this scout's code.

My passion: microbrewing, believe it or not.

A quirk: I go to work shirtless ;)

So if you think I am a fit, let me know ASAP: a stud like me can't be on the market long, right?



Part Eight: a reply to Teemo's dating profile.


Dear Teemo,

Your body is so chiseled--gah, let me restart this missive xD

I can tell from your eyes you have suffered a great hurt in your past, and I cannot help but desire to mend you. A little bit about me: I am a budding warrior from Demacia, known for dispensing justice. Yet no one, not even my own sister, ever asks me to dispense sound advice. There's something so isolating to living in a bubble, you know? I want to make mistakes with someone, get cuffed and put into the backseat of a police car with someone.

[...]

I read that you're passionate, oftentimes in the wrong way, and I see potential. Potential for the two of us to grow and flourish; live our lives together in imperfection. Will you hold me at night and whisper "it's okay" after I give you a tearful rendition of how I killed a six-year-old Noxian child? How I surprised here from inside a bush and drove my blade through her chest, and into her stuffed animal? People see me as larger than life, but I am so much smaller than a Yordle.

Please, deliver me from this constant grief and my devotion is yours to do with as you please.

Hope to hear from you soon, xD

Garen.


Part 9: Teemo's reply to Garen.


Hello Garen of Demacia,

You sound brave enough to me. Hope you're man enough for some extreme hiking in the Kumungu HAHEUAHAUAH

hope 2 see u soon,

Teemo.

League sucks

Ever since I was a child, I was bullied for my enormous ♥♥♥♥. Everyday was a struggle due to carrying around my 3rd leg. From being called big ♥♥♥♥ jock to having my genetalia being called the ♥♥♥♥ ness monster, I have endured it all. I've been crying in silence for the past 19 years bc of my package. Now for the first time in my life, I am proud to say I have a very large ♥♥♥♥. As Martin Luther king jr once said, "dont judge a man by the size of his penis, but rather on the color of his skin." No matter how often you guys will make fun of my Eiffel Tower of a ♥♥♥♥, I will never cry again. I will scream it from the hilltops again and again despite this being a flaw. I have a very big penis. Thank you and I hope you guys support me through this journey.

:( thank you for free elo+ ...what a bunch of idiots xdddddd ....how does it feel like to loose 16:14 :(

当我看到你的紫色时，我的眼睛在吃冰淇. 但是它们吃飽飯沒事干.

+rep bought knife with paypal. i went first

HENTAI is a crime against humanity and should be illegal!HENTAI is a crime against humanity and should be illegal!HENTAI is a crime against humanity and should be illegal!

It is physically impossible to simp for Gaben. Simp means Sucker Idolizing Mediocre Penis. A person is only a simp if the dude he is after has a mediocre ♥♥♥ gun, but Gabe Newell has a beyond godlike heat-seeking moisture missile at worst. I will continue to spend 80% of my allowance on keys (the other 20% on TSLA puts) while I leech off my parent's money and neetbux because I know that it’s not simping. Gaben if you see this I love you please text me back.

mimimim dont queue with ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ like u in a match expecting to win getting exit frags after 12 rounds wow dude you Rock like my D

<3 thank u mr 75 adr hard carry

-rep bad player

meby if u wast not be stupid

-rep trinkt isotonische Erfrischungsgetränke

ban hentai!! but sexy anime is okay

+rep true

TL;DR my son is a Terrorist!

I walked in on my son playing a video g* me, I was furious! He explained to me that he has to play this g* me called Counter Strike Global Offensive to kill Terrorists and prevent a Bomb from detonating! I was so proud of my patriotic and truly american son for killing these Terrorists that I forgave him for playing a video g* me!

Nevertheless I was suspicious, it is a video g* me! I spied on him for about 30 minutes and then I saw it, I SAW IT!!! HE WAS PLAYING AS A TERRORIST, MY SON LIED TO ME. HE TRIED TO HIDE THAT HE LIKES KILLING PEOPLE AND THAT HE LIKES BLOWING EVERYTHING UP!!! He thought that he could trick me, but I know the truth about my son and g* mers:

THEY ARE TERRORISTS and this g* me called Counter Strike Global Offensive is nothing but a hub to spread their believs and evil plans!

Ban video games now! Save your children from this evil g* me!

HENTAI IS NOT A CRIME

.....................,,-'´ . . . _,,,,,';:-,...................
....................,-(c\ \`;-=´,_,-~-, \`...............
..................,/ . . .¯'\, º ,/.'-~°,' .¯`'-,.............
................../ . . . . . .¯,_ ~--~',, . . .'\..........
.................| . . . . . . . . ¯¨¨¨(̅_̅_̅_̅((_̅_̲̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅i̲̅j̲̅u̲̅a̲̅n̲̅a̲̅̅_̅_̅_̅() ڪے
.................| . . . . . . . , . . . .`'-, . . . |..........
................/\ . . . . . . ."-,,,-'~-~' . . . '|..........
.............,/'`\,`'-, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . /\..........
░█▀▄░█░█░█▀█░░█▀▀░▀█▀░█▀▀░█▀█░
░█░█░█░█░█▀▀█░▀▀█░░█░░█▀▀░█▀▀░
░▀▀░░▀▀▀░▀▀▀▀░▀▀▀░░▀░░▀▀▀░▀░░░

i must say no!

⠄⣿⡀⠇⠄⠄⠄⢉⣛⣷⡄⢨⡀⣠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠶⠿⠿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄
⠄⣿⣿⣬⣀⣠⣤⡘⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⢀⣶⣶⣦⣌⢙⡀⠄⠄
⠄⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢡⣄⡀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠟⣸⡇⠄⠄
⣆⠙⠉⣠⣤⡀⠄⠄⢩⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⣋⣥⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⡇⡀⠄
⣤⡀⠸⣿⣿⡿⠶⠶⢾⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣲⣧⠄
⢺⣿⣦⣬⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃
⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⡀
⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣭⠭⠴⠒⠨⢭⠛⠛⠋⣼⣿⣿⣟⣛⣡⣴⣿⡇
⠄⠘⣷⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡙⠁⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃
⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⣶⣦⠄⣠⣶⣿⣦⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄

Ok, mom, firstly, you need to understand that this isn't porn, all right? It's called "hentai". Yes, that's a Japanese phrase, I'm learning Japanese from these videos. Before I get to the part about learning Japanese, though, let me first comment on the cultural implications of hentai. After the second world war, which Japan lost after the nuclear bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the entire country underwent a period of self-reflection and soul-searching. They wanted to understand how events led to the rest of the world responding with such devastating atomic attacks. This led to a strong antipathy towards war-mongering and international aggression. You may have heard about how the Japanese constitution doesn't allow the country to have an active military. Same idea. A lot of post-war Japanese culture is a reflection of such attitudes. For example, the Godzilla movies are not just about giant monsters fighting each other.

They're about the horrors of unbridled atomic technology (Godzilla's always depicted as being powered by or healed by nuclear power), and how such a terrifying force can never be allowed to be unleashed on humanity again. On a similar note, Japanese animation enjoyed a resurgence of popularity after the war, due to the populace choosing to turn towards the comforting images of their youth. Japanese kids, much like kids in our country, like to watch cartoons. As a result, psychologically speaking, cartoons represent a reminder of a simpler and more innocent age. This upsurge in popularity resulted in animated images pervading almost all of Japanese culture: from movies, to television, to advertising, to music videos, and so on and so forth.

And because animated images were so widely accepted throughout Japan, they were used for almost every type of source material, or to tell any type of story. Animation was no longer the sole domain of children. You got animated movies that told very mature stories, like Ghost in the Machine or Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. Sometimes you get stories that involve very mature topics, like war, or murder, or rape, or torture. The Japanese have generally become quite accustomed seeing depictions of such things in their animations. So yeah, that's why I was watching this movie. It's an epic tale about a space crew exploring a distant planet (the crew's all female, because Japan's very into gender equality), and they run into a hostile alien, with a bunch of tentacles... and... well... I don't want to spoil the story for you, but let's just say the crew eventually figure out how to get along with the alien.

It's a story about bridging cultural gaps and finding common ground. Seriously, it's worth watching. Ok, next, you remember how I talked about knowing Japanese words and phrases now? It's because these movies are subtitled in English, so I can learn Japanese while watching them. I mean, I know words like yamete, and iie, and iigu, and lots of others. Much better than just knowing konichiwa, isn't it? I mean, I'm developing such an interest in hentai that I might just major in Japanese when I'm in college. Who knows, I might be the one writing the subtitles in the future. Oh, and one last thing, you should know that hentai's considered pretty mainstream in Japan now, and it's also quite common in the western world too now. Everyone's watching it. I mean, if I don't watch it, I'll be seen as some sort of freak at school. You don't want your son to be some kind of pariah because he doesn't watch hentai, do you?