Recent reviews by no longer russian

With the surge of extraction shooter games coming out this year, I really wish the developers of Marauders would come back and get the flowers they deserve. Combining spaceship combat with a intense fast paced PVP element as well was such a great idea. I had a really great time playing this game and wish the developers would come back and breathe some new life into this game.

game year perhap

who up straf'n they tat?

those who remember the battle over Tampon Jon will be my friends for life

Counter-Strike 2: The "Please, Not Another Upgrade!" Edition

Ah, Counter-Strike 2 (CS2), the sequel to the game that has single-handedly kept millions of players awake past their bedtimes and their bosses puzzled about the sudden spike in ‘computer issues’ during scheduled meetings. Released with the fervor of a long-awaited sequel, CS2 promises to take your favorite tactical first-person shooter experience and crank it up to 11—because why not re-invent the wheel when you can just paint it a different color?

Graphics: Now With 100% More Pixels!

First things first, let’s talk visuals. CS2 has made graphics so pretty that I nearly shed a tear while planting a bomb. Gone are the days of wondering why my AK-47 looked suspiciously like it was made out of LEGO bricks. Now the textures are so refined that I can almost see the sweat on my team’s foreheads as they hopelessly search for cover during an unexpected rush. The maps, which used to feel like they were painted by an enthusiastic toddler, now boast all the detail and intricacy of a Renaissance painting—but you’ll still just be staring at the ground as you aimlessly walk into walls.

Gameplay: Tactical Shenanigans

The core gameplay remains gloriously intact, and by 'intact,' I mean 'still full of chaos and hilarity.' The tactical aspects of CS2 really shine, although if you spend too much time in the game, you might find yourself employing real-life strategic maneuvers like “throwing a smoke grenade” during a friendly BBQ. “Sorry, just trying to block the view of my burnt burgers,” you’ll say, as friends look at you like you’ve gone full gamer.

One of the updates includes the “Tickrate” technology, which is the kind of nerdy term that makes you sound smart when talking to your online pals. It basically means your shots will feel more responsive, and headshots will be delivered with a satisfying thud—unless, of course, you’re me, at which point the game seems to assume your enemies are made of marshmallows and your bullets are tickling them.

Microtransactions: For When Your Wallet Needs a Workout

And then there’s everyone’s favorite topic: microtransactions! CS2 has jumped on the loot box bandwagon like it’s the last train to Nostalgia Town. Want to dress your avatar in a skin that looks like it came from the clearance bin of a thrift store? There’s an option for that! Love the idea of spending actual money on something that your friends will see for all of two seconds during a final showdown? Oh boy, have I got news for you!

Community: A Mixed Bag of Geniuses and Goofballs

Ah, the community! Like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. From seasoned pros who treat the game like a military operation to the casual players who show up and ask, “What’s the bomb button again?” the range is delightful. Just remember, if someone types "report" in the chat, it’s probably not a sign of camaraderie; it’s more likely they’re LOSING THEIR MINDS.

Final Thoughts: Why You Should Absolutely Play (or Definitely Avoid)

In summary, Counter-Strike 2 is a delightful mix of nostalgia and innovation. It’s like a high school reunion where the awkward moments are enhanced by beautiful graphics and slightly improved gameplay. Whether you’re a veteran looking to re-pick your favorite maps or a newbie excited to learn what a 'clutch' actually means, there’s something here for everyone.

So grab your mouse, don your headset, and prepare for countless moments of frustration and joy—because in CS2, every loss is just a chance to blame your internet connection! Just remember, no one can hear you scream in the game… unless you accidentally unmute yourself in voice chat. Happy fragging!

good game

maidenless

needs voice chat in victory pose

throw chicekn change song good game

kill all landfall