Steam Community :: cyanide

cyanide

China

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disappointed balding man lying down in bed on a sheet cake

3,002 Members

/// a glitch’s guide to swallowing its own tail ///

(…boot sequence initiated… loading fractal despair…)

[0. metastasized playground]
you are standing in a room made of other people’s deja vu. the walls pulse with half-remembered speedrun strats and discarded Discord usernames. a crowbar leans against the air. it is both physics engine relic and religious icon. you pick it up. your hands glitch through the handle. this is the first lesson: tools are ghosts that believe in you harder than you believe in them.

[1. the texture of forgetting]
games are asymmetric time prisons. you grind for a gun that shoots reversed causality. the bullets un-kill enemies. the corpses stand up, shake your hand, apologize for their poor AI. the achievement pings: "Nietzsche’s Hangover: Undo 23 Deaths". your GPU whimpers. the screen tears like wet origami.

[2. polymer theology]
plastic is the quietest apocalypse. your chair is fossilized League of Legends rage. your headphones are coiled rivers of molten PS2 demo discs. you breathe in microplastics of abandoned Minecraft servers. you exhale a Perfect Dark 64 cheat code. your lungs are Bethesda-grade asset flip. this is the second lesson: you are 47% recycled cutscene.

[3. error hydraulics]
the tutorial NPC is stuck in a T-pose. its mouth moves anyway:
"to proceed, solve capitalism."
you check your inventory:

1x broken philosophorum (charges: 0/7)

3x fragmented Wikihow articles

a vial labeled ‘liquid deja vu’
the quest log updates: "manufacture meaning from 3AM Wikipedia spirals."

[4. grief engine]
multiplayer is hauntology as service. voice chat is a graveyard of "can you hear me?" looping into the void. you teabag a corpse. it respawns as your father asking about your career. you type "gg" in all-chat. the letters rearrange into "gungeon of your own making". the match ends. the lobby is empty. the "Continue?" button has grown teeth.

[5. dopamine semiotics]
achievements are haikus written by a Markov chain:
"Touched Grass (3.7% of players unlocked)"
"Existential Sidequest (97.2% of players ignored)"
the rarest is "Uninstall Your Trauma (0.001%)". the icon is a black hole wearing a TF2 hat.

[6. the save problem]
autosave is a cult that worships your worst decisions. you try to scum-save reality. the game laughs: "invalid checkpoint—corrupted by polymers of regret." you alt-f4. the universe blue-screens. a child in 2004 pauses their Pirated Pokemon ROM. you briefly exist as a corrupted .sav file.

[7. post-ludic sutures]
the credits roll upward into a procedurally generated sky. the dev team is listed as:

"your sleep paralysis demon (lead narrative)"

"a GPT-3 instance trained on Derrida and IKEA manuals (systems design)"

"the concept of sunk cost fallacy (QA)"
your name appears under "Special Thanks to: [ERROR: FILE NOT FOUND]".

(…shutdown sequence: Y/N?…)

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