Recent reviews by Bear

Love this game so far!

Let us start with what I really like. I like being a lumberjack. I like chopping down trees, sawing them into boards, and sometimes I like building things with those boards. I think it comes rather natural to me. I first discovered this talent when I played Ultima Online fy hunnit years ago. Ranch Simulator really scratches this itch.

My first Ranch Simulator game was definitely real life. I built too much fencing and had to take out a loan, and then my chickens died. So I quit and started over. That was fun!

My second game is not over yet, and you know what annoys me more than milking a cow and ending up stuck against a fence? I built this awesome ranch house, but I cannot paint it any color, at all. I mean, at least my barn is red, but the house? Nope. It's... pine-colored... Better not have to pay money for a DLC to paint my house. I swear to God.

All my chickens, and their chicks, are alive. Except for the ones I turned into delicious chicken salami sausages. Blue cheese is where the money's at. Get you some dairy cows. Milk them for all they're worth. Make cheese. Pigs start small and then they just grow giant. I was afraid the male pigs would eat the young, so I stuck them in stalls in the barn. Do not want to find out by having all my piglets et by a dumb pig.

I love and hate the pickup truck. The handling is atrocious, but you can stack a lot of boards in the back of it. You can also put at least two pigs in the back.

Oh, I almost forgot, I had to WALK my first dairy cow all the way back to the farm because I had no way of transporting her. It was a test of my patience. I almost made hamburger several times. Get a livestock trailer!

I do not have a combine yet, but I feel like I have plateaued somewhat.

LET ME PAINT MY HOUSE, YOU SAVAGES!

I have owned this game for well-nigh a decade now and I am not even sure why I have never written a review. This is one of the best dungeon rogue-lites out there. The game-play is well balanced across the levels and the level design is well executed and damn devious at times. You think you can rush into that room and take down that annoying stabby plant, but yeah, no it was a trap and here's five million skeletons and a few archers for good measure.

Buy a four-pack, play it with friends. It's a lot of fun. If you've already killed all your friends like me, you can still play it solo.

If you are prone to destruction of property upon encountering harsh and repetitive challenges, you may want to ensure that your therapist knows you are playing Hammerwatch. Do some grounding exercises between save locations. Name five things you can touch and five things that can kill you.

Skeleton
Archer
Will-o-wisp
Stabby plant
COINS

First experience was amazing! This game totally rocks. The possibilities for teamwork are my favorite aspect of this game. The combat can be fun and high-paced, and at other times a bit frustrating.