“Sherma is love. Sherma is life.”

After a painstaking 70+ hours (Game Pass save duct-taped into Steam with the precision of a medieval surgeon), I can confidently say: no.
This game didn’t just consume me. It dismantled me. It filed for divorce on my behalf.

The Savage Beast Fly? He didn’t just ruin my run. He ruined my life. My wife left. She took the kids, the house, the dog, and somehow… the fish. Don’t ask me how you divorce someone and also get awarded custody of the fish, but the judge agreed the Beast Fly made me “unfit.”

And then there’s Bilewater. If hell exists, it’s just Bilewater with motion blur enabled. I can smell that swamp in my sleep. I have PTSD: Post Traumatic Swamp Disorder.

I’ve played every Soulslike. I’ve beaten bosses who were designed by sadists on overtime. But nothing compared to this. This wasn’t a challenge. This was a hate crime directed at me personally. The enemies have projectiles with better tracking than my FBI agent. One of them ricocheted through my monitor and knocked over my Doritos. I cried.

And yet… I keep playing. Why? Sherma. The GOAT. My guiding light. My emotional support Sherma.
When I was broken, Sherma picked up the controller. When I saw the final boss, Sherma whispered, “Don’t worry, king, I got this.” Sherma carried me across the finish line like Frodo in Mount Doom.

If you play this game, don’t do it for yourself. Don’t do it for Pharloom. Don’t even do it to prove something to your toxic stepdad. Do it for Sherma. Without Sherma, there is only darkness.

10/10. Would lose custody of the fish again.