Recent reviews by /dev/null

A massive game that feels like someone took elements of Zelda BotW, Fable, Assassin's Creed, The Elder Scrolls and the Witcher, mashed them together and sprinkled in MMORPG-inspired elements. You can find a comprehensive review elsewhere, but here are some things that stand out.

Let's take a second to acknowledge the devs at Pearl Abyss who have worked and patched the game clear through the weekend; 72-hours post-launch. Working through the weekend sucks. Thanks, devs.


First, The Bad

No option to rebind controller buttons.

Many missions seem to have been created by people who have never played a video game before. The solutions are often painfully obtuse and frustratingly vague in completing some tasks. Get ready for Youtube tutorials and FAQ hunting.

This game will ask you to clear an enemy camp to advance the narrative. When you show up and spend 45 minutes clearing an area with on-screen statistics to show your progress down to zero percent, the game will break. You need to go online and research to learn that you have wasted nearly an hour clearing a camp that was actually a "mission" that needed to be started in order to trigger the boss in the area. Thanks, Pearl Abyss.

Steam Deck users should avoid this title unless you're streaming in-house from your gaming PC. It's a miracle that it runs at all, but it looks like a smeared turd even with upscaling and frame generation. It's like seeing The Witcher 3 running on the Nintendo Switch in portable mode; An impressive achievement, except this looks much uglier than anything CD Projekt Red put on Nintendo's ancient 2013-era ARM Cortex-A57 hardware.

The overly complex controls are necessary, but it would be nice if the key presses actually registered when I jump and want to glide or grab a ledge. It takes multiple button presses and you have to tap X until you see the animation. Sometimes holding the button helps, but it depends on the jump/positioning of Kliff. It's bizarre and incredibly frustrating during the platform-heavy jumping segments.

Remember the dragon mount in the trailer? After your 15 minutes are up or the dragon is shot down, it goes on a 50‑minute real‑time cooldown that cannot be reduced by sleeping, waiting, or any in‑game tricks.


The Good:

The 3/22/26 patch added an item storage chest and addressed the QTE arm wrestling issue.

This is what we hoped Dragon's Dogma 2 would be. Too bad, Capcom. Pearl Abyss gets my money.

The ludicrously large world feels surprisingly alive and is begging to be explored. I dove off the Abyss and landed in the wrong castle. Evidently not all factions are friendly.

If your hardware supports it, enable nVIdia DLSS Ray Reconstruction or AMD FSR Ray Regeneration. It makes a world of difference in the already impressive visuals.

Unsurprisingly there is a single-player MMO feel with sometimes painfully little hand-holding.

Enemies don't scale with your level.

Overall there's a ton of potential here and I'm sure Pearl Abyss will continue releasing patches to smooth out the rough edges. They nearly hit a grand slam, but trying to be everything at once has drawbacks.

There's nothing fun about having to kite every damn enemy in the game 100% of the time. Getting hit will rock your world and end your run.

Oh, you picked up some items and want to check them out in your inventory? Too bad. That's the game's cue to spawn a couple of mobs to sneak up on you. If this gameplay loop turns your crank, more power to you.

The writing will make you think less of your other games because the dialogue is so damn polished. It's also easy to like and care about the characters, especially the guns. I miss when games were genuinely funny. Looking at you, LucasArts!

Spouse fight instigator.

If you haven't fought with your partner in a while, drop in for a quick session.

Despite this game having a decade of free content under its belt, it's still a mile wide and an inch deep. Having to basically start over to take part in expeditions is a massive pain in the ass for a game that already requires a ton of grinding to make any progress,

Not a bad chill-out game if you turn down the difficulty, but that's about it.

The "start a fight with your spouse" simulator.

For you old folks out there, this game is like if Gran Turismo and Buronout 3: Takedown had a baby with daddy issues.

An oddly satisfying romp through one of the best physics sandbox games I've ever seen.

Also, get ready to punish your gaming rig. Simulating reality takes a lot of math!

This is the Assassin's Creed that deserves an official remaster; a phenomenal cinematic achievement that everyone at Ubisoft Montreal should be exceptionally proud of. It's my favorite entry in the long, tired series that should have wrapped up long ago.

With that being said...

Dear God, Ubisoft, you daft wank stains...

Abandon your useless, easily defeated DRM-riddled, late-term-abortion of a game launcher and bend the knee to Valve before you end up like Electronic Arts and get low-grit raw-dogged by Saudi Arabia and Jared Kushner.

The best game in the series marred by a company that's like an STD we can't wait to see flare up again.

Help us, indie game studios. You're our only hope.

My #1 all time favorite video game.

I bought the big-box PC version back in 1998. Imagine my surprise when recently I discovered my old save files still worked with this release and the Steam achievements, nearly 30 years in the making, started pouring in. While it's still grindy at times and needs some QoL adjustments like we've seen on console re-releases, FF7 is still worth playing if you're into JRPGs.

Unlike the "remake" that buries a convoluted version of the original story beneath a mountain of mindless fluff, the original game's well crafted plot, likable characters and smooth pacing makes this OG classic shine brighter than ever.

If you mix Vampire Survivors with the first-gen 3-D Nintendo 64-esque aesthetic you will get this little indie gem.

It's the same familiar dopamine feedback loop that makes you keep telling yourself "just one more run."

I need to get up and do something else.

40/10 Would Recommend (if you've told your people you're going away for a while)