Recent reviews by Cloud Wallace (F)

Halo

6 games

19.99€ on sale

buy it

PROs:
- Good sequel to Human Revolution, it gives the same feelings and vibes
- Good graphics and sounds
- Many different approaches available for each objective (stealth, lethal, non lethal...), for good replayability value
- 40+ hours of story content
- Very cheap on sale

CONs:
- It feels VERY rushed. The third act in particular leaves so many plot threads open and unsolved, due to Square Enix meddling with Eidos Montreal and forcing them to "wrap things up" and release the game unfinished
- It is currently (late 2020) unknown whether a sequel will ever be made. Deus Ex should have been a trilogy, but apparently developing that awful Avengers game was more important for Square
- DLC content should have been part of the main storyline
- MICROTRANSACTIONS IN A FULL PRICE AAA GAME. Completely and utterly disgraceful, especially since they are redundant (you get tons of praxis, money and ammo in a few hours of gameplay and never ever need to use the shop)
- Breach mode is useless, a waste of developer's time (which could have been spent on more story content)
- Random crashes during loading and gameplay are still a thing in late 2020, they never properly fixed them, in pure Square fashion

Buy only on a deep sale

Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through it's Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void. Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn it's simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity.

NOTE: his review covers the whole trilogy, as it is basically one single story spanning over 3 games, with slightly different mechanics from chapter to chapter.

TL;DR version: Game is bad. Don’t buy it, don’t rent it and wait for a very deep sale (75%+), but only if you’re a completionist of Final Fantasy games. Also the PC port quality is horrendous for 13 and 13-2. Less so for Lightning Returns.

Let’s make it quick and dirty, shall we? I’m a big fan of JRPGs and of the FF series in general, and I have to say that this game is BAD. It pains me to admit it, but after playing the first 2 games and ½ of the third I had to force myself and rush to the ending of Lightning Returns, just for the sake of ticking the damn box and getting over with it. I definitely could not bother with New Game+.

The most egregious fault by Square Enix was to try and shoehorn an abomination of hybrid action combat system in place of the traditional ATB-based (or turn-based) system of the previous 12 chapters. With the aggravating factor that you mostly control only 1 character at any time, while the other 2 in the party are controlled by the AI and just follow generic patterns (if they are ever present at all, see below), with frustrating results.
The second and absolutely horrendous decision was to dramatically reduce the number of spells and actions that each character could theoretically execute in battle (because console controllers have only four buttons to mash, amirite guyses? Did anyone ever mention these weird things called “scrolling menus”????). Forget the classic ATTACK - MAGIC - ITEM - SUMMON - SKILL - WHATEVER list, you now have either a variation of “Mash A to Auto select skills” or “Press A for Slash, B for Fire, X for Cure, Y for Potion”. That’s it. And trust me, it is even worse in the first two games since you only choose the classes/jobs you characters are, and then the fight basically plays by itself on auto.

But hey, at least FF games have epic stories with strong characters, many plot twists and memorable villains? Right? RIGHT?

WRONG

Here is a summary of the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that is this trilogy (SPOILER SAFE):

FF XIII
The first chapter of the trilogy is definitely the worst, considering also the overly-long development time. It is a glorified tutorial at best, and the player is forced through long linear corridor map sections with absolutely no clue of what is going on, without being given even a small hint to understand the plot of the game. For hours and hours. Sometimes the player controls 1 character, sometimes a different couple, sometimes 3 completely different guys, with the only task to move from one mob group to the other, from one cutscene to the next. Oh, and there is no character advancement system whatsoever, up to at least mid-game. Because who needs it in an RPG? That's preposterous!
The most insulting thing of them all? Once the corridors end and the first true “open area” is reached, when you are finally given the option to rearrange your party and properly equip it, the final mission starts and THE EFFIN’ GAME ENDS. I had to read a walkthrough guide to be sure that I did not skip most of the game by accident by entering the final dungeon prematurely (à la Chrono Trigger). Sadly, I did not make any mistake: the game was really over at that point.

FF XIII-2
Take the convoluted and obscure plot of the 1st chapter, throw time travel paradoxes in, remove all the characters you barely knew from FF13, add the most annoying protagonist teen couple ever in the mix and reduce the max number of party members down to 2. And you still get a better game than FF XIII-2! Seriously, they could have done worse only if Square was so lazy to recycle most of the assets again and again from the 1st game on every map… oh wait… they actually did it! FF XIII-2 is basically just an asset flip of XIII...
But hey, you can collect Pokémon in this game! Isn’t it cool?
Also, the character advancement system in 13-2 (yes, Square remembered to add one since the beginning this time!) is the worst thing I have experienced in any RPG, ever. You need several external guides just to get a grasp of it, since it is THAT badly documented in-game. It would have been better if Square simply did like in the 1st chapter or forget to implement it at all.

Lightning Returns: FF XIII
I must admit this is the most solid game of the trilogy. Or at least the most solid turd of the 3. On the positive side, this time the plot is explained to the player, somehow. The efforts put in to fix the dumpster fires that were 13 and 13-2 are pretty evident the more you progress (although several core game mechanics are still undocumented and oblivious af, which frustrates the player) but Square Enix in his almighty wisdom decided that it was a brilliant idea after the backlash of 13-2 to reduce the max number of party members even further. That’s right! In this game you can control only 1 playable character during the whole story! But you can dress her up and play Barbie Fashion Wheel! Isn’t it wonderful?
And if that wasn’t enough, the whole game is on a death timer: once the 13th in-game day ends, unless you have completed the 5 main plot quests this results in an immediate GAME OVER. Even though you’ll soon learn that the time limit is absurdly lenient (I completed each quest in the game, including optional and secrets, in 7-8 days of in-game time) it is still a very bad design choice, because it puts undue urge on the player and pushes you to skip everything just to get to the objective and save time. Yes, this game basically punishes the player for exploring its own hand-crafted open world!
Final note of shame for Square: in the English translation the localisation team completely butchered and removed lots of subtexts and romanticism in the dialogue between the main characters. Because why not? WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?

NOTE: his review covers the whole trilogy, as it is basically one single story spanning over 3 games, with slightly different mechanics from chapter to chapter.

TL;DR version: Game is bad. Don’t buy it, don’t rent it and wait for a very deep sale (75%+), but only if you’re a completionist of Final Fantasy games. Also the PC port quality is horrendous for 13 and 13-2. Less so for Lightning Returns.

Let’s make it quick and dirty, shall we? I’m a big fan of JRPGs and of the FF series in general, and I have to say that this game is BAD. It pains me to admit it, but after playing the first 2 games and ½ of the third I had to force myself and rush to the ending of Lightning Returns, just for the sake of ticking the damn box and getting over with it. I definitely could not bother with New Game+.

The most egregious fault by Square Enix was to try and shoehorn an abomination of hybrid action combat system in place of the traditional ATB-based (or turn-based) system of the previous 12 chapters. With the aggravating factor that you mostly control only 1 character at any time, while the other 2 in the party are controlled by the AI and just follow generic patterns (if they are ever present at all, see below), with frustrating results.
The second and absolutely horrendous decision was to dramatically reduce the number of spells and actions that each character could theoretically execute in battle (because console controllers have only four buttons to mash, amirite guyses? Did anyone ever mention these weird things called “scrolling menus”????). Forget the classic ATTACK - MAGIC - ITEM - SUMMON - SKILL - WHATEVER list, you now have either a variation of “Mash A to Auto select skills” or “Press A for Slash, B for Fire, X for Cure, Y for Potion”. That’s it. And trust me, it is even worse in the first two games since you only choose the classes/jobs you characters are, and then the fight basically plays by itself on auto.

But hey, at least FF games have epic stories with strong characters, many plot twists and memorable villains? Right? RIGHT?

WRONG

Here is a summary of the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that is this trilogy (SPOILER SAFE):

FF XIII
The first chapter of the trilogy is definitely the worst, considering also the overly-long development time. It is a glorified tutorial at best, and the player is forced through long linear corridor map sections with absolutely no clue of what is going on, without being given even a small hint to understand the plot of the game. For hours and hours. Sometimes the player controls 1 character, sometimes a different couple, sometimes 3 completely different guys, with the only task to move from one mob group to the other, from one cutscene to the next. Oh, and there is no character advancement system whatsoever, up to at least mid-game. Because who needs it in an RPG? That's preposterous!
The most insulting thing of them all? Once the corridors end and the first true “open area” is reached, when you are finally given the option to rearrange your party and properly equip it, the final mission starts and THE EFFIN’ GAME ENDS. I had to read a walkthrough guide to be sure that I did not skip most of the game by accident by entering the final dungeon prematurely (à la Chrono Trigger). Sadly, I did not make any mistake: the game was really over at that point.

FF XIII-2
Take the convoluted and obscure plot of the 1st chapter, throw time travel paradoxes in, remove all the characters you barely knew from FF13, add the most annoying protagonist teen couple ever in the mix and reduce the max number of party members down to 2. And you still get a better game than FF XIII-2! Seriously, they could have done worse only if Square was so lazy to recycle most of the assets again and again from the 1st game on every map… oh wait… they actually did it! FF XIII-2 is basically just an asset flip of XIII...
But hey, you can collect Pokémon in this game! Isn’t it cool?
Also, the character advancement system in 13-2 (yes, Square remembered to add one since the beginning this time!) is the worst thing I have experienced in any RPG, ever. You need several external guides just to get a grasp of it, since it is THAT badly documented in-game. It would have been better if Square simply did like in the 1st chapter or forget to implement it at all.

Lightning Returns: FF XIII
I must admit this is the most solid game of the trilogy. Or at least the most solid turd of the 3. On the positive side, this time the plot is explained to the player, somehow. The efforts put in to fix the dumpster fires that were 13 and 13-2 are pretty evident the more you progress (although several core game mechanics are still undocumented and oblivious af, which frustrates the player) but Square Enix in his almighty wisdom decided that it was a brilliant idea after the backlash of 13-2 to reduce the max number of party members even further. That’s right! In this game you can control only 1 playable character during the whole story! But you can dress her up and play Barbie Fashion Wheel! Isn’t it wonderful?
And if that wasn’t enough, the whole game is on a death timer: once the 13th in-game day ends, unless you have completed the 5 main plot quests this results in an immediate GAME OVER. Even though you’ll soon learn that the time limit is absurdly lenient (I completed each quest in the game, including optional and secrets, in 7-8 days of in-game time) it is still a very bad design choice, because it puts undue urge on the player and pushes you to skip everything just to get to the objective and save time. Yes, this game basically punishes the player for exploring its own hand-crafted open world!
Final note of shame for Square: in the English translation the localisation team completely butchered and removed lots of subtexts and romanticism in the dialogue between the main characters. Because why not? WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?

NOTE: his review covers the whole trilogy, as it is basically one single story spanning over 3 games, with slightly different mechanics from chapter to chapter.

TL;DR version: Game is bad. Don’t buy it, don’t rent it and wait for a very deep sale (75%+), but only if you’re a completionist of Final Fantasy games. Also the PC port quality is horrendous for 13 and 13-2. Less so for Lightning Returns.

Let’s make it quick and dirty, shall we? I’m a big fan of JRPGs and of the FF series in general, and I have to say that this game is BAD. It pains me to admit it, but after playing the first 2 games and ½ of the third I had to force myself and rush to the ending of Lightning Returns, just for the sake of ticking the damn box and getting over with it. I definitely could not bother with New Game+.

The most egregious fault by Square Enix was to try and shoehorn an abomination of hybrid action combat system in place of the traditional ATB-based (or turn-based) system of the previous 12 chapters. With the aggravating factor that you mostly control only 1 character at any time, while the other 2 in the party are controlled by the AI and just follow generic patterns (if they are ever present at all, see below), with frustrating results.
The second and absolutely horrendous decision was to dramatically reduce the number of spells and actions that each character could theoretically execute in battle (because console controllers have only four buttons to mash, amirite guyses? Did anyone ever mention these weird things called “scrolling menus”????). Forget the classic ATTACK - MAGIC - ITEM - SUMMON - SKILL - WHATEVER list, you now have either a variation of “Mash A to Auto select skills” or “Press A for Slash, B for Fire, X for Cure, Y for Potion”. That’s it. And trust me, it is even worse in the first two games since you only choose the classes/jobs you characters are, and then the fight basically plays by itself on auto.

But hey, at least FF games have epic stories with strong characters, many plot twists and memorable villains? Right? RIGHT?

WRONG

Here is a summary of the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that is this trilogy (SPOILER SAFE):

FF XIII
The first chapter of the trilogy is definitely the worst, considering also the overly-long development time. It is a glorified tutorial at best, and the player is forced through long linear corridor map sections with absolutely no clue of what is going on, without being given even a small hint to understand the plot of the game. For hours and hours. Sometimes the player controls 1 character, sometimes a different couple, sometimes 3 completely different guys, with the only task to move from one mob group to the other, from one cutscene to the next. Oh, and there is no character advancement system whatsoever, up to at least mid-game. Because who needs it in an RPG? That's preposterous!
The most insulting thing of them all? Once the corridors end and the first true “open area” is reached, when you are finally given the option to rearrange your party and properly equip it, the final mission starts and THE EFFIN’ GAME ENDS. I had to read a walkthrough guide to be sure that I did not skip most of the game by accident by entering the final dungeon prematurely (à la Chrono Trigger). Sadly, I did not make any mistake: the game was really over at that point.

FF XIII-2
Take the convoluted and obscure plot of the 1st chapter, throw time travel paradoxes in, remove all the characters you barely knew from FF13, add the most annoying protagonist teen couple ever in the mix and reduce the max number of party members down to 2. And you still get a better game than FF XIII-2! Seriously, they could have done worse only if Square was so lazy to recycle most of the assets again and again from the 1st game on every map… oh wait… they actually did it! FF XIII-2 is basically just an asset flip of XIII...
But hey, you can collect Pokémon in this game! Isn’t it cool?
Also, the character advancement system in 13-2 (yes, Square remembered to add one since the beginning this time!) is the worst thing I have experienced in any RPG, ever. You need several external guides just to get a grasp of it, since it is THAT badly documented in-game. It would have been better if Square simply did like in the 1st chapter or forget to implement it at all.

Lightning Returns: FF XIII
I must admit this is the most solid game of the trilogy. Or at least the most solid turd of the 3. On the positive side, this time the plot is explained to the player, somehow. The efforts put in to fix the dumpster fires that were 13 and 13-2 are pretty evident the more you progress (although several core game mechanics are still undocumented and oblivious af, which frustrates the player) but Square Enix in his almighty wisdom decided that it was a brilliant idea after the backlash of 13-2 to reduce the max number of party members even further. That’s right! In this game you can control only 1 playable character during the whole story! But you can dress her up and play Barbie Fashion Wheel! Isn’t it wonderful?
And if that wasn’t enough, the whole game is on a death timer: once the 13th in-game day ends, unless you have completed the 5 main plot quests this results in an immediate GAME OVER. Even though you’ll soon learn that the time limit is absurdly lenient (I completed each quest in the game, including optional and secrets, in 7-8 days of in-game time) it is still a very bad design choice, because it puts undue urge on the player and pushes you to skip everything just to get to the objective and save time. Yes, this game basically punishes the player for exploring its own hand-crafted open world!
Final note of shame for Square: in the English translation the localisation team completely butchered and removed lots of subtexts and romanticism in the dialogue between the main characters. Because why not? WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?

Ignore my playtime, it does not reflect the number of hours I've spent on this game.

This is THE Star Wars Space Sim. Accept no substitutes. Still ubelievably good after all these years!!
Just go to www.xwaupgrade.com and https://sourceforge.net/projects/xwahacker/files/ to play it on modern PCs with HD graphics and 16:9 / 16:10 Aspect Ratios

The best 2.5€ I've ever spent. Buy it on sale and enjoy!

Free DLC. Just get it
And thank God that this game is not published by EA

"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Knuc-kles"

best movie ever