I seriously need to know what the ♥♥♥♥ was Cort smoking back in 2018 to go on a tangent about.... That.

could use more sylveon :)

@marisa WHY are you reading?

what am i reading

The human penis is certainly among the finest in the animal kingdom. It is generally of robust, satisfying proportion, features subtle ribbing that provides sturdiness and enhanced sensation, has smooth, sliding skin which reduces friction and provides excellent mouthfeel, and is visually interesting with its many veins, skin folds, and a glans with a shape that suggests sleekness and a color that changes to demonstrate the intensity of lust.

However, it is certainly not the best. It is firmly in third place.

In first obviously comes the horse. I won't go into great detail on horse ♥♥♥♥♥, as they are already quite popular even with the non-zoophilic general public. The size, the shape, and the power of the animal a horse ♥♥♥♥ is attached to are all part of a sexual mystique that has been well explored in many cultures throughout history.

There is one other kind of animal, however, that has us solidly beat, even though it has no such following. I speak of the spectacular, over-the-top sensuality of the amazing "red rocket" possessed by canines. We ignore this one, perhaps, because dogs are generally much closer to the majority of us than horses. There is no reason to romanticize the mundane, as we do for the equine penis, and we are often quite scared of our dogs' sexuality, since we do have to live with them instead of just looking at them in a field we're driving by. By acknowledging that it's at all there, we are forced to deal with it in a fashion other than having the vet remove it, and we are usually more worried about what that means for us than what it means for them.

Nonetheless, dog penises are wonderful, a fact which deserves to be recognized even if the vast majority of us will never experience one firsthand.

The first thing that anyone will notice about a dog's erection is the color. "Florid" is the best word I can think of to describe this beautiful display. From angry, fire engine red, through every possible shade of pink, with some extraordinary specimens additionally featuring deep purple and glistening white, an erect dog's penis rewards the viewer's eyes with the full spectrum of colors that our culture associates with the urgent desire of lust. As it comes out of its sheath, its palette seems to beg to return to a warm and cozy place inside the body of another.

Its form and functionality are similarly titillating. The pointed, very slightly flared tip allows for easy entry without being completely smooth, and while perhaps not as visually exciting as the glans of a human, certainly gets the job done comfortably and efficiently. The size when fully erect tends to be very impressive in proportion to its owner, often being much thicker and somewhat longer than the average human penis

When the action begins, it's much smaller. Once it's in, or played with sufficiently, it inflates to its full, throbbing size, allowing for the receptive partner to adjust more comfortably. No inflatable dildo I've ever seen has such a wide range of widths as does our best friends' tackle. They usually just seem to start at "too big" and get "slightly bigger." A dog's penis is much more friendly, allowing even the novice to enjoyably accommodate something really fat and juicy.

And juicy it certainly is! One of the best things about wolf wang is the precum. There is so much! And unlike ours, which merely drools when we get close to the end, theirs begins squirting almost constantly, nearly as soon as the fun begins. The result is a satisfyingly messy taste sensation that is truly without compare. On the other end, this also serves a practical purpose, contributing greatly to the fact that a dog penis is self-lubricating, a trait I'm sure we've all wished we could share at some point.

Of course, no discussion of dog ♥♥♥♥♥ would be complete without a mention of the crown jewel, the one thing that most strikingly sets them apart from us: the bulbus glandis. Ranging in size from a rather small plum to near that of a softball, the swollen base of a canine's ♥♥♥♥ is both an invitation and a challenge. Do you want to take the knot? Can you? Once you have, of course, there is the dizzying feeling of being dominated, not by your partner, but by your own desires. Trapped there on the floor for up to twenty minutes, one must simply wait and enjoy the feeling of being so consumed with lustful passion that the fear and shame of being caught seem immaterial. When you are tied, it is inescapable that a part of your identity is firmly outside of the mainstream's comfort zone. A piece of your soul is there, wrapped tightly around that dog's twitching, squirting ♥♥♥♥ just as surely as your ♥♥♥♥♥ or ass is.

The thing that draws many to such interests is the fact that this is a perfectly symbolic microcosm for all of our sexuality. In our culture, even purely vanilla sex is often made to feel "naughty." In that moment when you accept the knot, and make yourself incapable of defense against whatever might occur should your door suddenly open, you have decided that you're not going to play that game anymore. The world may say you're a filthy slut; you're happy to be one, if that means enjoying yourself to the fullest with your most loyal companion.

Overall, it is simply a fact that your dog's ♥♥♥♥ is better than yours in nearly every way that matters. It's alright to feel a little jealous, but I think it would be nice if we as a culture could recognize this more openly, similarly to how we do for horses. Happiness in this strange and beautiful world in which we live lies in fully appreciating all of nature's marvels, and nature has certainly made the canine penis marvelous.

Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void. Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key. They will learn its simple truth. The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity. Behold, they cut me down but still, I speak. I am energy and I cannot be destroyed!

<3!

Happier now that you came around, pixiebutt!

Hey there my friend it's ever so lovely to se GIANT NERD!

happy New year you ribbon boy .

a freezy boy

Oh hey, Steam didn't notify me that you commented on my profile

WELL ANYWAYS, uh...

*Luther Aquamarine snaps your neck like a slim jim!*

GYAHAHAHAHAH --

nee-heehee

Alright fella, here's the thing. I noticed you said a swear word on my Minecraft server, and that is strictly forbidden. If I ever see you on my server again, I will hck you up with the likes of which have never been seen before. I can kill you in 100 different ways, and that's just with my pickaxe. I have over 300 confirmed diamonds on Planet Mknecrafy. I was top of my class in Mineschool. I will grief your house so bad you'll think it was a Vietnamese hospital. You're hcking dead, kiddo.

Happy birthday dood!

happy birthday ~

I ᗪOᑎ'T ᗯᗩᑎᑎᗩ EᗩT ᗷᖇEᗩKᖴᗩᔕT ᗪOᑎ'T ᗯᗩᑎᑎᗩ GO TO ᗪIᑎᑎEᖇ I ᒍᑌᔕT ᗯᗩᑎᑎᗩ ᑭᒪᗩY ᗯITᕼ ᗰY ᖴIᗪGET ᔕᑭIᑎᑎEᖇ

bad dragon

Oh dear, mittens ;w;

You can call me... CHILLER

*pet pet*

your icon looks like he's saying "You DENSE mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥." instead of "Fam."

Nice

Happy birthday you big butt boy.

♥♥♥♥

I don't believe this!
Guess who loves you?

Read the first 2 words. :)

TOP 5 GAMES READY GO
1. MEGAMAN X
2. SPICE
3. SPICE
4. SPICE
5. SPICE

Hehe the Red Sylveon I love to bits >w<

You so kawaii Oni-chaaaan~

Brother, bro, brethren, comrade~!

Best and cutie friend

You have good taste, i-if you aren't being sarcastic!

I wrote your name on a piece of paper, but by accident I threw it away.
I wrote your name on my hand, but it washed away.
I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves carried it away.
I wrote your name in my heart, and forever it will stay.

*Smooch~* Kissies for doggies.

Nu-uh! You!

Who? O:

>implying I'm a nerd

Who said I was one? I'm a brawny amphybre and always will be :3c

oh... ok

i'lldoyougood

go away

This sylvybutt is too darn cute with fabulousness all over him ;w;

RUB AWAY, KYSEN BAE

*Kiss* =w=